


To Want No More Than This

by Alecto228



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-10-30 06:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20809835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alecto228/pseuds/Alecto228
Summary: Itachi and Sakura wish to marry, but Uchiha politics are conservative. A Uchiha bride first and foremost.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written fan-fiction before, but I consume a ton of it. I'm just writing because I wanted to? I don't pretend to have a talent for it or that this will go anywhere grand and epic. I'm just along for the ride.

Clink.

"Have you found a way, Itachi?" 

Cool green eyes looked up from her steaming tea cup. Her slight form bent forward, elbows pressed into the table, strong hands gently cradling her cup for warmth. 

"Sakura, the Clan will not bend on this. We've already discussed how difficult they are making things. We can make this work, but Izumi must be first as a show of good faith.

Her brow arched sharply. Moonlight cast her face in stark relief. It was late. She had just returned from a double at the hospital and found him in her apartment. He prepared tea upon seeing her climb through her apartment window.

"Second? So negotiations have changed. They would let you have me, but only as a second wife. We have moved on from allowing me to be your one and only." 

She noticed the tightness around his eyes, but he had prepared well for this conversation. Her favorite tea, the flavor of honey that warmed her from the inside out, the well worn, but loved teacups that they always shared. He knew she was one for sentiment. Her lips twisted as she looked down, eyes half lidded as she looked into her tea as if it would provide her the answers she was seeking. 

"This was the best solution on the table. This or concubine. The former allows you a title and any children we have full rights within the Clan. Other possibilities would bring all parties involved dishonor, Sakura." 

She knew this was difficult for him. She knew he loved her, but he loved his family and his Clan. He was a heir and had other considerations. It was his duty and Uchiha Itachi was dutiful.

This had been many years in the making if everything was considered. Team 7 was an assault team, but ended up on a mission that went side-ways. His team was available, sent in for relief, and he confessed he saw her as a vengeful goddess upon seeing her battle prowess. Yin seal released, thick black lines streaming across her body, muscles rippling underneath her fair skin as she took a blow meant for Sasuke. Impaled, snarling "Not him! Not today!" as she thrust her hand out and crushed the offending shinobi's windpipe. Sharingan spinning, Itachi's first memory of her in battle was immortalized.

He knew his future was irrevocably twined with Sakura Haruno's. 

"Is this what you're prepared to settle for Itachi?" 

They were both aware that there was weight in this question. Kakashi was Hokage, but he could not interfere in Uchiha Clan matters. Itachi could use his political weight within the Clan and rebel, but he risked becoming head if he did so. There were other things riding on this than his personal happiness. Itachi would be a progressive head whereas his father was a fair, but conservative head. War had changed many things, but it was unsurprising how many things did not change.

"Sakura. There is more to this. This is a solution in progress. I-" 

Her hand flew up from her teacup and a warm, calloused fingertip was pressed firmly to his lips. Firm and strong. It was only his trust of her that prevented his instincts from kicking in- to lean back, catch her hand in his, to knock it away. 

"I love you, Itachi. That will not change." A tilt of the head, shadows crawling across her features, and the coolness of her green eyes hardening to crystal. "But not a future on those terms. Leave. Now." She withdrew her hand and the warmth that came with it, fingers coming to cup her now rapidly cooling tea. 

She seemed sculpted from marble as he collected himself. It seemed it was a reponse he wasn't anticipating from her judging by his reaction. The fact his outward expressions were so plain to her revealed how large the shock he must be feeling. She catalogued the way he closed his eyes, the length of his sooty lashes against his pale cheeks, the deepening of his tear troughs. He aged before her and she allowed herself to disconnect from this moment, this moment in time lest she break. 

She would not. 

She could not.

"I will return, Sakura. You have my word." 

She chose to do nothing, say nothing, and allowed her eyes to fall to his hands as he pushed away from the table. She was reminded of beautiful she found his hands and that had he been allowed to do anything but train for war, maybe he would've made a wonderful pianist.

Click.

\---  
He was gone.

She pushed the teacup away and put her head in her hands. Strong fingers curled in her hair and she resisted the urge to howl. Would it be so unreasonable? She felt too small, skin too tight, stretched too thin for all of the agony that demanded release. Was this what everything had come to? All of her love? Everything that she was, is, and would be was measured and was found lacking. She let out a shuddering breath. The honey on her tongue tasted sour.

Abruptly standing, shoving away from the table, the chair fell back with a heavy thud. She had come in half an hour before worn and now she was burning. This place was too confining.

Air, air, air! She needed air!

She wrenched opened her window and leapt out. Half moon indentations were left on her windowsill where she launched herself forward. She flung herself outwards, from rooftop to rooftop. Her legs pushed her forward on autopilot towards Hokage Tower, brain whirling, lungs burning for air. As soon as she touched Hokage tower she had the presence of mind to smother her chakra to prevent footprints from being left halfway up the side of the wall. 

She slid one of the windows that overlooked Konoha open enough to pull herself through, crawling in quietly, and green eyes darting around the office looking for Kakashi. She spotted him sitting couch, stacks of paper on the coffee table, reading. Pakkun dozed lazily beside him, but the office was otherwise empty. He didn't look up from his paperwork.

"Maa, Sakura-chan. It's awfully late to be paying me a visit. What brings you in?"

"Kakashi-sensei, I- I need..."

The -sensei had been gone for years, replaced by Hokage-sama as she was insistent upon "paying him the respect due the office he occupied". It never rubbed off on his other students, but Sakura was always a stickler. It was only under bad circumstances that she would fall back into old habits.

The only acknowledgement of surprise was the twitch of his fingers as he lifted his eyes to fix them on her. He quickly scanned her distressed figure and set the papers he was reading down. He stood, customary slouch in place, and walked over to her slowly as one would approach a wounded animal. 

"Talk to me, Sakura. What happened?"

"Itachi and I- We." Her eyes drifted to the ceiling, searching for words. Teeth sinking into her lower lip as her chest heaved. Short fingers clenched and her muscles rippled in warning. 

Kakashi's coal eyes darkened as he leaned over to his desk, one hand casually pressing down on the seal that would activate the privacy wards. Thick black characters scrolled across the walls and blue glow pulsed faintly around them.

"There. We may speak freely. What happens in this room will not leave." His voice was quiet and somber. This was not the Hokage of Leaf, or her nonchalant sensei, but her friend.

"He could take me as a second." Her head snapped to the side, unable to meet his eyes. Tears blurred her vision and they burned. "Mentioned that or a concubine. Our children. Our CHILDREN!" Her head whipped back and to the ceiling as a tendon strained in her neck. Her lips twisted as she held back. Honey and ashes and bile. It's all she could taste. 

"A forgone conclusion that I would agree to this future! Little Haruno Sakura, clanless Haruno Sakura, cilivan Haruno Sakura, lovesick Haruno Sakura would agree to be Uchiha Itachi's second wife because a scrap of love is better than nothing! A CONCUBINE IF NOT ALLOWED SECOND! MY CHILDREN- MY BABIES- Kakashi! They would rob me..."

She stood before him as if she were ready for battle when she began, her voice rising to a crescendo in defense of herself, and then breaking with the admission of the fate that would befall her future children. A future that was now just the smoke in the wind. He could see the desolation shining in her eyes. Heartbreak writ itself across her face. He knew that now it was safe to approach. Two steps forward and gentle arms settled around her, one hand on her hair the other on her back. The howl that had been contained at the apartment was let loose as her white knuckled fists pressed against his chest.

He let her wail and press and beat against his chest. He knew she needed it and she wasn't using chakra. She would no doubt inspect him, see the bruising, feel guilty, and heal him while apologizing when she came to. Now, now was the time for fresh grief. He closed his eyes and ignored the heaviness of his own heart. He was aware, peripherally, of what was going on with Itachi and Sakura. He couldn't afford to not be. Both were high profile individuals. Sakura, as his old student, would always be on his radar. He wasn't aware that a second marriage or that concubine status were on the table. This news was fresh. Itachi was digging into old statutes within the Clan to propose that solution, but likely proposed Sakura first and had it overturned for an Uchiha bride first by the Elders, and must've just come from a meeting to have this discussion with Sakura.

He knew Sakura was not the problem with this marriage proposal. It was a matter of tradition and politics that were driving this conflict.

Roused from his thoughts when Sakura quieted and began to sniffle, he raised his brows and looked down at her. "Do you want to talk more?" 

"No. Maybe, Kakashi-sensei. I'm just so tired. " Her voice was hoarse, her skin red and blotchy from tears and stress. Shadows smudged underneath her eyes, giving her a worn look. He loosened his embrace, allowing her room to breathe and regain some of her composure.

"Why don't you and Pakkun go to my residence and lay low. No one will bother you there. I will finish here and meet you there." 

"Kakashi-sensei, I have a shift in the morning. I should just go back to my apartment. This." Her hands fluttered, such a delicate motion for such a force of nature, "I don't know. My life feels like it imploded tonight." She pressed her lips together to prevent more crying, feeling wrung out after working so long at the hospital, meeting with Itachi, and then spilling it to Kakashi. However, a few traitorous tears that felt more like acid raced down her salty cheeks. 

Kakashi reached out, a rare moment of tenderness from him to wipe her tears as he shook his head. His expression had remained somber since he registered her distressed state, "Sakura, I do not doubt your ability to carry on if required. I am asking that you take some time at my residence and that we speak this over when I finish here. I will only be a short while longer. Indulge your old sensei? I'm also going to need some healing." He crinkled his eyes in a smile as he held his hands in front of his chest where hers were previously, exaggerating a wince.

"Oh! Kakashi-sensei, I'm so sorry! Here, let me-" She reached out, but his hand rose quickly to meet hers palm to palm. He gave a short shake of his head. "Nope! Let me finish here and we'll talk while you heal me."

"Fine! Fine." A deep breath. Exhale. Her shoulders lost some of their tension. "Pakkun? You ready to head back to Kakashi-sensei's place for a bit?" She stepped over to the couch, the pug looking up at her with large, concerned brown eyes, and hopping up into her arms to nestle close. 

"Yep! Boss?"

"I'll catch up shortly. Before I forget- Don't spoil him, Sakura-chan."


	2. Chapter 2

When she came to, she knew it was long past when Kakashi said he would be returning. She wanted to delay opening her eyes, if only to deny the reality of last night's events. She felt Pakkun's solid warmth tucked underneath her chin and heard his quiet snores. She had to suppress a snort. Deadly ninken or not, she had to admit she found him adorable like this.

They had crashed on Kakashi's couch after being sent to the Hokage's residence. Pakkun had understood her silence, but kept her company through the remainder of the night refusing to leave her side. A short, "Boss wouldn't approve" was enough to settle the matter when she tried to send Pakkun back. 

She had no doubt Kakashi had handled notifying the hospital on her behalf. 

When she concluded she could no longer delay the inevitable, she opened her eyes only to snap them shut against the early morning light. Bracing herself, she opened her eyes and take in her surroundings. A threadbare, shiruken patterned blanket was draped over her and Pakkun was tucked against her chest, drool trickling from one side of his mouth. 

Kakashi, who never really adopted the more lavish trappings the office could've afforded him, kept his residence much like he kept his apartment before. He had pictures of his precious people, his rickety bookcase of well worn Icha Icha books, and Mr. Ukki on one windowsill but otherwise the residence seemed rather impersonal. The man himself was sitting at a table in the kitchenette, steaming cup of tea in front him, the table groaning under stacks of paper. 

Kakashi lifted his eyes from his paperwork when he heard her soft groan. Sakura could tell it was a genuine smile underneath the mask, his eyes crinkling as he gave a small wave. "Sakura-chan, it's nice for you to join the living again. Come. Join me for tea and heal your poor sensei." 

She was parched, but couldn't think of drinking tea without remembering the lonely cup she pushed away last night and the bitter honey that stained her tongue. No tea. Not now. Not for a while yet. "No thanks on the tea, but thank you for the thought. As for my poor sensei..."

Carefully shifting Pakkun on the couch and shuffling over to Kakashi guilt flooded her system. She remembered standing in his arms just hours prior and letting her emotions get the better of her. She valued control. It was the key to her success after all. She knew how dangerous a lack of it was for not only herself, but those around her. 

"You said not a word. Shirt off Kakashi-sensei. Let me see what I did." She grabbed the chair beside him at the table, turned it to face him and seated herself. His mask was firmly in place, but his shirt was off and draped across his lap. She clinically catalogued the blue and purple splotches blooming across his chest, while remorse settled into her bones. 

Her head listed to the left as capable hands raised and hovered above Kakashi's chest. She felt the rush of chakra through her arms, building in her hands, humming in her fingertips until her hands began to glow green. She sensed the heat of his skin, the blood that pooled underneath the surface from broken vessels, and resulting inflammation. Unleashed, her cooling chakra was quick to repair and soothe.

This was not an intense enough healing to quiet her thoughts. Whispers about control, her monstrous strength, and what it would cost her someday if she wasn't careful crawled from the darkest recesses of her mind and came out to play. Her eyes lifted from his chest and met his, her voice thin, "I'm sorry, Kakashi. I'm sorry I did this to you." 

"Sakura, I'm glad you came to me. This is just a side effect." He shrugged, the purple and blue drained to green, and faded to pale yellow against his fair skin. "I'd like to discuss where we go from here. I know this is delicate, but I cannot ignore this in an official capacity." He put his shirt back on, and lost some of his slouch in the process indicating that this conversation was heading into serious territory. 

Once he was adequately healed, she pulled her hands away only to run them back though her hair. That motion seemed to drop a veil over her face, all physical markings of exhaustion present but her expression had taken on a steely quality. "I'm going to ask for time. The hospital is running smoothly. Shizune is here and is a capable administrator."

"I can give you time, but only a little. The Uchiha may not care one way or another, but I have never known Itachi to settle. Sasuke will also be on alert. He won't be silent on this. You know my limitations." His gray eyes had lost all of their previous humor and she wasn't sure if she was talking to the Hokage or Kakashi for how his gaze bored into her.

"You think I don't know I can't run from this? That I can't easily wash my hands of this?" She did not bare her teeth at him, but it was a near thing. Her voice had lowered, quiet and sharp to pierce the silence of his living room. Lower still, whispered, an appeal to his heart, "Is it too much to want him for my own?"

"Yes."

She almost lunged at him with the blunt declaration. Her body leaned forward and feet pressed to the floor in an aborted attempt before she remembered herself. A tendon jumped in her neck, straining until she took a deep breath and let it out in stuttering exhales. She leaned back until she was flush with the chair, her head fell back, and closed her eyes. Control. Kakashi wasn't an enemy. Her mind whispered about selfish little girls and their selfish little dreams. She swore the tasted honey and ash for a moment.

"I'm not ready for this conversation, Kakashi. I'm asking for time and distance. Can you give it to me?" Matter of fact.

"I can. Mission to the outskirts of Fire through border towns helping clinics. I want them prepared for winter. Should take you out for three months." His tone was casual, as if he hadn't noticed her aborted lunge. He reached through the piles on the table and grabbed a scroll, offering it to her. His expression gentled since their change of topic. He knew she was setting a boundary and he would respect it.

She gave him a long assessing look. She knew that the coming months would be hard, but she had to believe she would come through this. Leaning forward she wrapped her arms around him, muscles tightening to draw him close. Inhale. Hold. Memorize this moment. He smelled like ink, paper, tea, and of all things his ninken. She let out a soft huff of amusement before letting him go. He patted her upper arms lightly, reassuringly.

"Thank you for this." Softer.

"Of course, Sakura-chan. Anything for my favorite student."


	3. Chapter 3

Three months later...

She mused that while she could not do this for the rest of her life, she could see herself doing this for longer than the three months she was permitted. Traveling through Fire in autumn was a sight to behold. She enjoyed the crisp air, the sun on her face, and the radiance of the changing foliage. She genuinely enjoyed assisting the border villages with their clinics. There was something warm and homey with each clinic she visited. The populations they served so small compared to what she was used to Konoha. The cases generally less complicated, less traumatic on the whole due to a less concentrated shinobi population. 

It didn't change the fact she found herself tired at the end of each day. Each clinic had unique issues and concerns. There were supply lines that were be cut off during certain times of the year, gaps in education with retiring or- in some areas with a shortage of doctors- nurses, protocols that were not established, out dated equipment, and the list went on. The gratefulness that each village showed that "The Great Sakura Haruno" would visit their homes and listen to their troubles left her feeling humble. Sure, she had her bad days and griped about the entitled patient or family in Kohona, but part of her did live in service of others. It was part and parcel of being a medical ninja to her. 

She found herself sitting in inns, or spare bedrooms depending on the village in question, and growing frustrated. Konoha was not solely responsible for these people. The damiyo had a responsibility to them as well. She fully intended to say something to Kakashi. She felt he should know that the borders, while currently secure, were vulnerable in her eyes for the above reasons. If she were to sacrifice her medic heart, she could say a gesture of good will always went a long way towards easing the tension between civilians and shinobi. However, giving thought, let alone a voice to that statement left a bad taste in her mouth. 

She found herself trying to swallow this sour taste as she passed under Konoha's gates at dusk. She felt an invisible weight settle on her shoulders. She rolled them reflexively, as if the tension would roll off. After her discussion with Kakashi, she had left without notifying anyone she was going to depart. She needed the Hokage's permission to leave and that was it. She slipped back into her apartment that morning like a thief, ignored the lonely tea cups on her table, and packed her bags in a rush. She grabbed a few of her more useful medical tomes, stray papers fluttering to the floor in the process, and cast one last look over her apartment before leaving as quickly as she came. 

She was heading home without any detours. She had sent word ahead to Kakashi to sign off on "crash and report" instead of "report dead on her feet." He had responded that she could report in the morning given she experienced no complications during her mission. She allowed herself to fall into her thoughts of her teammates while she trekked home.

She imagined Naruto had barged in to Kakashi's office, with Sasuke skulking in only a few steps behind, demanding information as soon as they discovered her absence. Well, Naruto had done the talking and Sasuke feigned disinterest as he hung on every word. There was a reason Sasuke always tagged along when the three of them were pushing for missions. Naruto did the demanding, she did the smoothing over, and Sasuke did intimidation via Uchiha staring. She raised a hand, hiding her smile as she thought of the three and their antics. She knew she was in for it when she came across the duo. She was surprised she didn't have Naruto hunting her down in the border villages during her disappearance. 

She tried her best not to think of Itachi while she was gone, but it was an impossibility given he was the reason for her rushed departure. Raw and heartbroken, she was to decide up what she could live with. Itachi- Wait. Itachi? Her thoughts caught up to real time as she took in her surroundings and cursed herself for her inattention. 

Her feet halted, causing her to lurch slightly, as she found herself actually staring at the man. She became acutely aware of the beat of her heart, now disjointed and hammering against her chest as she registered him standing down the street. What was he doing here? The Uchiha district was not on this side of town. She wanted nothing more than to sharply turn on the balls of her feet and walk away in that moment. 

Too soon. Much, much too soon! Her mind shrieked at his approach. She remained still and forced herself not to shrink before him, despite her diminutive height. 

"Sakura. You're back." His voice, low and smooth, washed over her. She was shocked at the relief that had leaked, however minutely, into his voice. "I did not know when you would return. Have you given your report yet?"

"Not yet, Itachi-san. I wrote Hokage-sama ahead of my departure and we agreed upon reporting tomorrow morning." She noticed his eyes narrow slightly at the suffix attached to his name. Her heart stuttered. She was growing convinced that she could hear it in her ears. 

"May I speak to you in private?" Heat coiled in her belly as chills raced up her arms. Oh, three months was not that long for such a visceral reaction on her part! She rationalized that she was still, very much in love and attracted to him, but she needed to control that. Control would be the key. 

However, she knew they needed to speak and speaking about such a delicate matter was not appropriate in public. She could not just leave things as they had left them without being crystal clear with him. Her mission bought her time to think. Kakashi had warned her that Itachi was not one to simply accept a polite refusal once he knew what he wanted. 

"My apartment. Just for a little bit though, Itachi-san. I have just returned from my mission." She caught the flicker of victory in his eyes that she would've missed had she blinked and the slight narrowing at the suffix before he was a blank slate again. The walk to her apartment was short and made in silence. She felt jittery and eager to have this done with, even as dread ate at the edges of her mind. She didn't bother to lock the apartment before she left. She dropped her bags unceremoniously by the door and slipped off her sandals. Itachi, ever the polite house guest, took off his sandals and placed them neatly next to hers.

"What did you want to talk about?" She milled about her small apartment turning on a few lights, casting the apartment in cozy yellow light. She stood in her living room, arms crossed in front of her chest almost as a shield. 

Itachi seemed to morph in front of her from polite, Uchiha clan heir to something more feline, almost predatory. "We spoke three months ago, Sakura. You left. I find you now and you would like to know what I would like to talk about." He stalked forward, hands open and loose at his sides, his shoulders slightly pulled forward. His eyes seemed to glow in the lower light, his voice softer, gentle, "Did you think I would not want to continue our conversation from the night before? That I would be satisfied with your answer?"

"It's not a matter of your satisfaction Itachi! It's why I stopped you where I did." She grew tense, her eyes hardening and flaring with green fire of their own. She momentarily forgot the thrumming of her heart and the heat pooled in her belly. It was easier to focus on the burning in her brain, the tightening of her hands as they gripped her muscled forearms. 

Itachi didn't seem outwardly concerned with her threatening stance, coming right up to her and leaning down, nuzzling her windblown hair and inhaling. His long fingers ghosting over her clenched fingers, over the jumping tendons of her hands, and over the coiled muscles of her forearms. Placating, soothing. "I never expected you to readily accept what I proposed then, Sakura. None of this is to our satisfaction." His head dipped lower, a butterfly's kiss across the shell of her exposed earlobe. "Only you bring me peace." Nuzzling a pale tress to the side, underneath her ear, "Happiness." The pulse that was now playing a staccato note underneath the thin skin of her column of her throat, "Fulfillment." His voice was husky and his hands were running along her tensed back, attempting to ease her tight, trembling form. "Say you have thought about me in the past three months. I have thought of you." 

He only lifted his head to search her face, seeking consent in her molten eyes. A red flush spread across her cheeks, lips parted, breathing hitched. They were both aware of what dangerous ground they both stood on. She pulled away the hair tie that bound his hair back, delicately placing it in his shirt pocket, and carded her fingers through his hair. She relished the feel of his silky locks through her fingers. 

This one gift, for being so good. This one time, perhaps the last time for a long while, she told herself. He allowed his eyes to drift shut only to feel her forehead to press against his instead of her lips and mourned the loss. Anticipation and longing in equal measure thrummed through both of them as she spoke in hushed tones, repeating what she told him three months prior, "Oh Itachi, I love you. That will not change. That future is not one I can love though..."

She knew if she went down this path with him then it would be her ruin. It may not be for a month, a year, a decade, but as sure as she knew her strength she knew that way lie madness. She suspected that he was looking for an agreement from her this evening. He was trying to look for something binding and she could not offer him that under any circumstances. She took one more breath, as if she could commit the scent of smoke and embers to memory, and released his hair with the utmost gentleness. She stepped out of his arms, back and away, out of his grasp. She needed distance for this statement. "I think it is late and we have concluded our discussion, Itachi-san."

Itachi straightened to his full height, a dusting of pink across his cheeks and the tips of his ears, the heat in his eyes the only outward signs showing he was ruffled. His voice had resumed its low, smooth timber but lacked the rawness he had shown only minutes earlier. "Sakura, if I were to find a solution to your satisfaction after a time, would you reconsider?" 

She paused at his phrasing. She considered it odd, but they had been working on moving the Uchiha elders for over a year with no success. Perhaps he needed more time to move them to consider a monogamous union with her. She forced her arousal addled brain to focus on putting together a carefully worded reply- one with conditions, not that she thought he would break them even if she had left them unspoken. "I would reconsider, Itachi-san. As long as we conduct ourselves with honesty and respect we have always afforded each other, I will." 

"Then I will return to you Sakura. You have my word."


	4. Chapter 4

She leaned back in her chair, staring out the window of her office blankly. She did not register the beams of sunlight that beat down on her seated figure or the stagnant, stifling air in her office. She supposed she could turn on the fan scant inches from where she was, but she simply could not be bothered right now. The fan made noise and she needed quiet. Quiet was nice. Quiet was good. 

She let her head rest against her shoulder, watching the clouds lazily float across the blue sky. Perhaps Shikamaru was onto something with his cloud watching. She saw no shapes and did not seek to divine any answers from the sky, but it was simply a place to set her eyes and be silent.

Life had returned to its busy hum after she had come back from the border. Rotations at the hospital, meetings with friends, training, missions. She was someone that liked to herself occupied. It kept her from thinking too much. Her lips jerked, a tight pull of muscles for an audience of no one, a bloody gash more than a smile. Yes, she mused, she would need to keep very, very busy for a long time.

She wasn't sure how long she sat in a too small office with sunbeams bearing down her watching the clouds drift. 

A firm knock shattered the silence. 

Her office door opened and Ino swept in as if she owned the place. Around the desk she came, a vision of violet, blonde, and concerned blue eyes. Sakura turned absent green eyes from her empty sky to meet Ino's in mute inquiry. "Oh Forehead, we're getting out of here. You're no good to me, let alone anyone else, like this."

Soft, warm hands encased Sakura's calloused ones and they were off. A puff a smoke remaining in the lonely office. It was enough of a disturbance to cause the wedding invitation between Itachi and Izumi Uchiha to flutter to the floor. 

\---

"I thought he loved me, Ino." A whispered confession.

"I don't know Itachi personally, Sakura, but I want to think he did." Dextrous fingers wove flowers into pale candy colored locks, a braided crown for her best friend. "Itachi Uchiha has always remained a mystery. I don't think he would carry on with just anyone if it's any comfort. I don't care about him though, only about how he contributes to your happiness." 

"I feel like I've lost everything in slow motion and then all at once. I courted him, fought with him for us, then waited and waited. And for what? Nothing! What am I supposed to do Ino?!" Head bowed as shame washed over. "I'm the biggest fool!"

"You grow and bloom again. You're no fool, Sakura." Arms coiled tight around Sakura's midsection and warmth was shared between them in the shade. Ino got to her knees from behind Sakura and leaned forward to get a good look at her face. Long, white gold tresses slid over Sakura's shoulders like a cloak of protection. "Would we have ever made it this far if I suffered fools? We'll make it through this too."

"What about Shikamaru?" A tiny, teasing smile.

"He's lazy. Hardly an idiot. Don't tell him I told you that I don't really think he's an idiot." She rolled her eyes dramatically. Shifting around to sit in front of Sakura, taking her hands in her own. "Getting back to the heart of things here. I'm here and don't forget I'm a clan heir too. Clans are messy." Her glossy lips turned down in a deep frown "I don't know what Itachi was thinking and I don't give a damn right now. You have worth, Sakura, independent of his association. You have friends." Her thumbs stroked over the back of Sakura's hands, squeezing. "I wanted this conversation in the Nara Forest because there are no eyes or ears here I distrust." 

"Do you think I need to worry about anything?" A deep steadying breath.

"No. There just might be pressure because you're sought after. I want you to know you have a safe haven and you have allies." 

"The Nara Forest belongs to the Nara though..."

"We function as a unit, Sakura. InoShikaCho is more than a team for battle. We may disagree sometimes, but we take care of our own. Did you really think I would hear the news and leave you out in the cold?" There as a snarl working its way to Ino's lips. Something fierce lurked in the depths in Ino's eyes, daring Sakura to accuse her of abandonment. 

"No, Ino. Not after Sasuke." She leaned forward, pressing her Yin seal to Ino's bare forehead and closing her eyes. 

"Good." Final, firm, pleased. 

\---

They made their way back into town as the sun was starting to set. Sakura with her braided crown, flowers twined in her hair, her face pale but a small smile on her lips while listening to Ino talk animatedly at her side. Ino was all large gestures with her arms and hands, her eyes alight when fixed on Sakura, but rapidly cooling when they cut away to look at other villagers. Ino knew that Sakura's involvement with Itachi, while not shouted from the rooftops, was not exactly a secret. The Uchiha Heir wedding was big news. It was short notice, only a month away, but the large clans would always escape the worst side of the gossip mill for fear of repercussions. Sakura had no such protection. 

"How you stay with me this evening and go to your shift from my place?" 

A little shake of the head. "Honestly, Ino I just want to crash in my own bed and pretend today didn't happen. I have a double tomorrow. I'll just keep busy. Work will be good for me. " 

That's what I'm afraid of, Ino thought. She plastered on a winning smile though and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Whatever suits you. If you don't come up for air though I'll drag you up." 

The rest of the walk was made with small chatter, mostly from Ino. They parted ways at Sakura's apartment. Ino with a jaunty wave and Sakura with a reserved smile. 

Sakura let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding since she entered town after she closed the door behind her. She toed off her sandals and walked straight to the bathroom flipping the switch for the light as she went. A long, look in the mirror revealed a critical, wan woman to her own eyes. She carefully pulled the flowers from her hair and dropped them into the toilet as she went, her fingers making quick work of unwinding the braid, flushing the toilet once all was said and done. She watched the flowers go down the drain with a flash of remorse, but buried it quickly. She took a sideways glance at herself in the mirror noting the redness around her eyes, the frown etched across her chapped lips, and how drained her paper thin skin looked. Her pale hair wavy, long and wild. "I'm too tired for you right now." 

She shook her head at her own nonsensical nature. As if someone was listening to her. She knew she, of all people, was not above talking to herself and left the bathroom. She took off her shirt and paused long enough to shimmy off her med-nin skirt and shorts underneath in the dark. She flipped the switch to dimly light the apartment. Clad in her bindings and panties she spied something on her table. She narrowed her eyes and cautiously approached the offending item. A bundle of yarrow bound with twine lay peacefully with no note. She pressed her lips together, sucked a harsh breath in through her teeth, snapping the bundle with one hand and hurling it at the wall with all the force she could muster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I looked up yarrow and got everlasting love as a flower meaning. So that's what we're going with!


	5. Chapter 5

In the coming days it was all a blur. Rise, shower, breakfast, hospital, dinner, run, crash. Faces and conversations not pertaining to the clinical details of her vocation fell away into nothingness. Only what was important to getting the job done was recorded, stored, and retrieved when needed. Her chakra thrummed through her veins, heart steady, face a cool mask. Sakura Haruno was the consummate professional. 

She had taken up running in the dead of night after her shifts. Konoha was sleeping. The only movement being the shinobi returning from or leaving for missions. She found even with working as many hours as medics could safely work, she still vibrated with restless energy. Her thoughts paced back and forth like caged tigers, always threatening to lash out in their frustration. The only solution she had found was to exhaust herself at the end of each day. A distant part of herself knew, logically, that she could not keep this up. 

She felt like her head was on the executioner's block and she was waiting for the axe to fall as Itachi's wedding approached. The day would come but Oh! Oh, how she wanted to outrun it. 

\---

"Sakura, you look like shit." 

"Why thank you, Shishou. Welcome back to Konoha. It's good to see you too."

"Don't get smart with me, brat. Move over. I brought refreshments." Tsunade nudged Sakura's seated form with her heeled foot, holding up two large sake bottles.

Sakura, not feeling particularly forgiving or respectful this evening, didn't hesitate to grumble as she scooted over. Now some of the tree trunk was available to lean back on. Tsunade took a seat next to her, legs crossed, offering Sakura a bottle wordlessly. Sakura, to her credit, didn't bother with asking for a cup and uncorked the bottle and took a drink. 

"I thought you would be tied up in the festivities all night, Shishou." A deep frown on Sakura's lips. 

"Do I look like I want to party with the Uchiha? Do the Uchiha even look like the partying type?" Tsunade took a scroll out of the pocket and unsealed it. More alcohol. Surprise there, Sakura noted wryly. 

"I didn't think you wanted to sit out in the cold with your apprentice on the winter solstice. Not when you could be warm and drinking on Fugaku's tab." A ridiculously oversized blanket was draped around Sakura's shoulders. If it wasn't for the circumstances, Tsunade might've laughed at her apprentice. 

"Who's alcohol do you think we're drinking, Sakura?" Amber eyes met green in a sideways glance, ruby lips curled in a satisfied smirk as Tsunade took a long, deep drink from her bottle. "Either way, I'm not drunk enough for this conversation, but here we are."

"Here we are." Sakura raised her bottle to the sky in a mock toast before taking another drink. 

They sat in silence for a spell. Mentor and apprentice soaking up the cold starlight during the longest, darkest night of the year. 

"Why are you here, Shishou?" Soft, but to the point. Tsunade always appreciated how blunt Sakura could be after she had beat a spine into her.

"I attended the Uchiha wedding at Kakashi's behest. I represented many things. The Senju, Konoha as a past hokage, and the hospital. It was to cover any fuss that the Elders could make at your absence. I'm here with you because I'm not going to let you drink alone tonight." Tsunade taught Sakura how to be blunt, after all. 

Sakura's hand tightened around the bottle she was holding and she took a drink. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, a flush crawling across her cheeks from the alcohol. "Oh."

"He didn't seem happy, Sakura." Tsunade leaned back, grabbing some of the blanket from Sakura and tugging it around her strong shoulders. "Share your goddamn blanket. I thought you had better manners than this."

"Then why'd he do it?" She spat out the words like poison. Blanket forgotten and allowing Tsunade to wrap what she needed around herself. Sitting side by side she realized something. Tsunade was completely relaxed, but she felt like a live wire.

She looked down into her bottle and realized it was empty. She found herself irrationally angry now. If what Tsunade said was true- If he wasn't happy, then what was all this for? Why was he even getting married? Theycould'vewaited.Shewould'vewaited.Shewould'vewaitedforeverforhim. She threw the bottle into the clearing and swiped up another bottle, taking a long, deep drink. 

"The Uchiha are old, Sakura, and as a Clan they're hard to please. Itachi has always been a smart bastard, but damned if I know what went through his mind. If he is up to something then god only knows what it is. Izumi seemed happy with the match. I understand why you're making the choices you're making, but don't lose yourself. Remember who you are." 'Look at me' was the unspoken statement that hung between them. Tersely, "Brat, don't do it the hard way like I did." Tsunade leaned her head back against the tree, taking a swig of her sake, eyes fixed in the distance and seeming years away. 

She was Sakura Haruno. She was the only apprentice to Tsunade Senju that had come as far as she had. She was a civilian with no special name and no fancy dojutsu. However, with her own fists she rose through the ranks to heal hundreds of shinobi and civilians alike. They lived because of her. She could harm and heal in equal measure. She was a self made woman and she had a lack of nothing. If only she could remember that when she wasn't angry and drunk.

She wasn't eleven and defenseless anymore, but she had been feeling that way lately. Anger that flared moments ago evaporated into thin air. Sakura slumped against Tsunade under the blanket, pressing arm to arm awkwardly, before Tsunade relented and wrapped her around her shoulders drawing her close. "I'm tired, Shishou. I'm so tired." A small, drunken whine.

"I know. I know you are. I'm going to get Naruto to take you home." She set down her sake bottle, completing a one handed seal, and a small Katsuyu appeared on the blanket in front of them. 

"Tsunade-sama!"

"Katsuyu, I need you to get Naruto for me and bring him here. He's at the Uchiha compound. Tell him Sakura needs him now if he starts to complain."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama!"

\---  
She didn't remember much after hearing the distinctive 'poof!' of a summon teleporting away. She remembered leaning heavier on Tsunade, a barked command she dimly recognized coming from her mentor which caused her to wince, and then being moved. After some time- How long she didn't know, Sakura opened her eyes blearily to only see the scenery blurring, speeding past her. She groaned and buried her face in Naruto's neck, smelling the faint scent of ramen, soaking up the unnatural warmth radiating off his body. 

Another a blank period. Right now she could get used to those. She came briefly to the surface when she felt herself being put somewhere soft and warm. It wasn't as warm as Naruto, but her feet were free from her sandals. She was eternally grateful to be free from her shoes. Funny how it never occurred to her until now how long a day it had been.

"-chan, get inta bed now." 

"'anks, Naruto. Owe you." Flat on her back, spread haphazardly, a small smile on her lips she wiggled her toes at him. Oh how she ached and this bed felt glorious. Was she always this tense? No wonder Shishou drank- If it meant feeling free, just like this, she could understand.

Naruto observed one his best friends from the foot of the bed, with her tiny toes moving without a care in the world, and realized he didn't remember the last time he had seen her so relaxed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Naruto, a tickle in your throat does not require me to examine you." She felt like a headache coming on. "Just like the paper cut last week from the cup ramen wrapper didn't need me to heal it, or the week prior to that I really didn't need to look at the toe you jammed trying to escape the Hyuuga compound before Hiashi caught up to you." She felt a vein in her forehead begin to throb as she began to remember the more outlandish hospital and house calls he had made since the winter solstice. 

"Oh! I remember- before that it was a rash. Except it wasn't a rash. It was from you sleeping on your arm. You couldn't feel your arm when you woke up because you SLEPT on it. You had the same red mark on your FACE because your HEAD was resting on that part of your ARM." The Naruto she knew wanted to walk off broken ribs and poorly dressed wounds. God only knew what he took for medicine when he actually came down with something his immune system had to fight. The Fox must've worked overtime to keep Naruto infection free. She knew that all of that behavior was a byproduct of his youth, but the last six weeks he had turned into a hypochondriac on her. If his tiny ailments didn't kill him, like he was convinced they would, she was definitely going to.

"But Sakura-chaaaaaaaaaan! It mi-" Big blue eyes and a pout might've been cute if she didn't know him and it hadn't been six weeks of the same song and dance, but she was done.

"It. Might. What." 

"Well. Ya know. Be somethin'!" 

"No, Naruto. I think you're full of shit. I think you're going to close my office door, sit down, and tell me what the hell this is really about."

Naruto knew the jig was up. The facade of anxious patient fell away from his tanned face quickly. His foot scuffed the floor before he closed the door and sat in the seat across from her, his eyes troubled. "Sakura-chan, I'm not sure where to start. I don't want you to be angry."

She huffed a breath through her nose. "I'm not angry right now. I'm frustrated and confused. I've got Sasuke avoiding me since Itachi got engaged. You, on the other hand, I seem to see every time I turn around since the wedding." Naruto winced at the mention of Itachi's wedding and he wouldn't meet her eyes when she brought up Sasuke's absence in her life. The frown, so unnaturally placed on his normally chipper face, deepening. 

"Teme has issues he needs to work out." It was a low growl, almost absent minded, before Naruto shook his head and brightened. "I'll make sure to bring him around."

"Sasuke is not your responsibility, Naruto. He has to answer for himself." She knew the words were useless as soon as they left her mouth. Naruto and his too big heart, she thought. She knew Naruto felt guilty about seeing Sasuke while she hadn't. She might've been jealous, angry about their bond were she younger. Now, age granted her the wisdom to understand the two were thicker than thieves with each other in a way she would never be with either one of them. Maybe she should give herself a pat on the back after this whole thing was over because if that wasn't growth, she didn't know what was. "When you drag Sasuke in isn't the issue here. I'm really concerned about you though."

"Awww! Sakura-chaaaaan, you shouldn't be!" He rubbed the back of his head, his whiskered cheeks glowing. "I'm just fine. Really."

"Then why are you in my office every other day with some imaginary sickness?" She leaned forward, fixing her concerned eyes on his, trying to compel him into giving her a real answer.

He sobered, shrinking a little under her intense gaze. "I've been worried about you, Sakura-chan. Tha weddin' messed you up. You weren't right before that though. I couldn't find you! Then Katsuyu shows up and says Baa-chan says you need me and it's the first time I saw you in months- that I COULD see ya in months." He raked his hand through his hair, pulling at it slightly, growing visibly distraught. "You looked so sick and sad and drunk and I get it! I get why!" His hands flew up defensively, afraid of offending her. "I just feel like I wasn't there and I should've been. You shouldn't have been alone." The agitation he showed just moments ago settled as he said his peace leave a more relaxed, if a bit deflated, Naruto in its place.

"Naruto... I ran. I ran away because I didn't know what to do. That's why you wouldn't have been able to find me. After the wedding announcement I hid, like a coward, in the hospital and then at home because I didn't want to face that my future was changing. Tsunade-sama found me on the night of the wedding. I didn't tell anyone where I was that night." She took a steadying breath, gripping her forearms tightly, bracing herself. This was the first time she had really talked about this, but if anyone understood the capacity to love it would be Naruto. "I loved- love Itachi, Naruto. If he walked in that door right now a free man I'd probably still take him back. How embarrassing is that? How humiliating? He left though and I have to find a way to survive his absence." 

"I get it, Sakura-chan. I don't think less of ya. He's one of your precious people." Naruto shifted forward in the chair, leaning forward and stretching his arms out- heated, calloused hands touching hers. "We really don't get ta choose those people." His fingers curled, gently wrapping around her own, red crescent moons left from where her nails were digging in. "I'd never judge ya for your dreams." 

Despite her best efforts, she felt tears burn in her eyes. She blinked rapidly to prevent them from falling and swallowed hard. She didn't want to weep. This was Naruto's magic, she knew. Naruto knew how to crack her open and make her feel like it was okay. It was just fine to be human. She gathered herself, letting out a long, shuddering breath as she squeezed his hands. "I owe you, Naruto."

"That's two now, Sakura." A sneaky grin appeared on his lips, trying to lighten the mood. She took his lead and ran with it.

"Two?!"

"Yoooou said you owed me when I dropped ya off." He looked very much now like the cat that got the cream. 

She frowned at him, dropping his hands like hot potatoes to cross her arms over her chest. "Name your price."

"Ichirakus! Ramen for three!" As soon as she heard Ichiraku, she started calculating how much this was going to set her back. To be fair, Naruto never asked for anything other than ramen. She wasn't sure why she bothered asking. She furrowed her brows at the mention of three.

"You're thinking of inviting Sasuke?"

"Teme." A resolute nod. "Just like old times!" 

This, she decided, would probably be a disaster.

\---  
"Pink camellias tonight?" A faint smile appeared across her lips. "Who would be longing for me?" 

She had seen flowers on her kitchen table, once a week since the wedding, like clockwork. There was never a note. No other disturbance than the mysterious appearance of the flowers. She had her suspicions, but truly? What was the point? Hope was a fool's game when all evidence pointed to the contrary.

She remembered destroying a bundle of yarrow and suspected Itachi, but she had never seen him drop the flowers off. He had never gifted her flowers in their long history. She had flowers showing up with no proof of who the sender was. If the flower meanings were anything to go by the senders intentions were far from malicious. If anything, the sender was heart sick. Maybe they sympathized with her plight. It was hardly a secret in town if the gossip was to go by. She was discarded for someone with "better breeding."

She mused over the flowers she had received over the past couple of weeks. Red carnations, purple hyacinth, violets, dark crimson roses, lavender, wallflowers... Sakura spoke the language of flowers, but she had no concrete of knowledge of any shinobi that learned the language. Flower arranging, and the secrets that lay within, weren't taught to little boys in Konoha.

She touched the delicate petals as she passed, admiring the shade of pink not so far off from her own hair. She gathered the blooms and put them in a clear vase of water, letting them sit on her dining room table. "I don't know if someone is pining for me, or someone else, but these are too pretty to trash."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red carnations-my heart aches, admiration  
violets- Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, modesty  
lavender- Devotion, virtue  
dark crimson rose- mourning  
wallflowers-Faithfulness in adversity  
purple hyacinth-Sorrow, forgiveness, regret


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh Dr. Harrruuunooo! I come bearing gifts for the day of your glorious birth!" She knew sing-song voice that floated through the air. She also knew she was the only doctor on the ward and could not escape whatever fate awaited her. It was a blessedly uneventful Friday night, or at least it had been, in the emergency ward. She was convinced that god had truly forsaken her now. The owner of the voice quickly located her at the nurse's station, surrounded by charts and coffee cups, and presented her with his presents.

Her "gifts" were Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Itachi being dragged in on either side of a too cheerful Uchiha Shisui. 

Sasuke looked like a drowned cat. He was soaked, dirty, and definitely had murder written all over his face. Itachi was reluctantly leaning into Shisui and looked as if he would rather be anywhere but here. One hand fisted in Sasuke's collar and other arm wrapped around Itachi's shoulders holding him in place. Shisui's voice was calm as ever, edged with amusement, "Sakura, blossom, medic-wonder of Konoha- I was minding my own business and found these two having a discussion. I don't want to break out my get along shirt, but I will if I need to. Can you do me a favor and check them over first though?" He grinned at her, a dimples appearing. She damned his good looks thrice over as this is exactly how he bypassed the nurses and found her every. single. time.

Sakura, for her part, was stunned. This was ridiculous. She hadn't seen Sasuke or Itachi for months. Shisui was seriously standing here, flirting with her as insincerely as ever, as if nothing had changed. Dumbfounded, picked up her coffee and took a long drink to buy herself a moment. No one was critical, just insane apparently, so she could afford the twenty seconds that bought her.

Standing, she heaved a sigh through her nose and rounded the station to stand on the other side. She didn't want to think too hard about this, but she knew that would be impossible. 

"Alright, I'll check both. Sasuke goes first, room one. Itachi-san is second in room three. You stay with Itachi-san and make sure he doesn't run for it." She gave Shisui a warning look as Sasuke's collar was released. Sasuke shot Shisui a murderous glare before taking off to room one and lifting himself on the table. She watched Shisui and Itachi trail into room three before she followed Sasuke and closed the door behind her.

She had already ascertained that Sasuke had no serious injuries. She would check regardless, but she knew he was just angry and wet. She pulled a stool up in front of his seated form and sat down, hovering her hands over his chest, steeling herself as she gathered her chakra and courage. "It's been a while, Sasuke." Her voice came out soft, but conversational. It lacked heat or accusation.  
"Aa." She saw him look off to the side, some of the aggression from earlier draining away in the face of her calm demeanor. 

"Will you tell me why you've been away?" Her eyes did not meet his, settled on his chest where her hands were. Her voice still quiet but the whispers of hurt were wound around her words. Her face dispassionate, cooling chakra sweeping through his body, finding his hidden aches and soothing them. The ones his anger, his pride, would not allow him to show earlier.

He seemed to bristle at her question, tensing underneath her palms, muscles straining underneath her splayed fingers. He clenched his hands into fists against his thighs. "Nothing is fine. No one will be honest about it either."

"What do you mean, Sasuke?" She finally turned her eyes up to meet his, her own searching and meeting pits of black rage.

"Sakura, how could I face you knowing what my Clan did? What my Clan still..." He sealed his lips shut after that and ground his teeth together. She cut her chakra and pulled her hands away to focus on him entirely. Her brows furrowed in concern. Sasuke was prone to fury, but this was something that cut him deeply. His lingering statement meant things were still going on.

"I never blamed you! I don't hold you responsible for things falling apart. Itachi mad-" She didn't get to finish the sentence before Sasuke was baring his teeth and his sharingan was activated. She felt her eyes widen in shock and broke eye contact instinctively.

"You don't see- You can't see what is going on. We're done here, Sakura." His tone was sharp.

Sasuke swiftly got off the table and left, but not without slamming the door behind him. Her own hands were trembling. She wasn't afraid of Sasuke or the sharingan, but taken aback at the intensity of the entire encounter. It had been a long, long time since she had seen Sasuke so upset. She put her head in her hands and folded herself forward, deepening her breathing to slow her heart rate quickly. Shisui and Itachi were waiting in room three and she would not walk in there rattled.

She gave herself two minutes. Unfolded her form, shook the tension out of her tense limbs, and squared her shoulders. Sasuke was a surprise, but now she had to deal with the elder Uchiha. She left the patient room, leaving the door open before heading straight to room three. She knocked twice before entering, her eyes falling to Shisui sitting on what would be her stool and Itachi on the table.  
"Alright, Shisui. Out. You know the confidentiality rules." She made a sweeping gesture with her right arm, giving Shisui a mocking smile. 

"Sakura, I do not need to be examined. I am fine." Itachi's smooth tone interjected before Shisui could make a move towards leaving. 

Shisui grinned, dimples making a second appearance this evening, "Nonsense. You are exactly where you should be." A wink, a pat on Itachi's shoulder, and out the door Shisui went making sure to close it firmly behind him. 

Sakura watched the exchange between cousins, not sure if they were speaking a coded language. She would not put it past them. Both men were riddles in their own right. 

She pulled up the stool Shisui had abandoned, seated herself without hesitation, and lifted her hands to hover above his chest. Just as she did with Sasuke, she gathered her chakra, but unlike Sasuke she knew something was wrong with Itachi. Conversation was inevitable.

"I know you are opposed to this, Itachi-san, but I need you to not fight me when my chakra tries to enter your system. I don't want to cause you discomfort." Her hands began to glow green and she allowed it to leak into his system. She felt his hesitation, and then acceptance after her nudge. 

A frown darkened her features as her chakra went from a trickle to a flood into his system. She knew Itachi's chakra system. His chakra was warm and his reserves deep for the ninjutsu he used. She was startled to realize, he wasn't simply drained. He was exhausted. Some of his pathways felt like dry river beds and others trickling streams. She felt the inflammation in his body from the strain exhaustion placed on his system and allowed her cooling chakra, which was often described as refreshing, to sweep through the more inflamed areas.

"You're suffering chakra exhaustion, Itachi-san. I will not ask for details for security reasons, but is this mission related?" She forced her eyes up from his chest to look at his face, cataloguing his features. She did not see the classic signs of chakra exhaustion. No dark circles, no waxy skin, no chapped lips, and no cold sweat. She looked carefully at his eyes to see if his pupils were dilated, but they appeared normal. He was watching her intently. She could feel his eyes tracing her features carefully, but she tried very hard not to notice his attention. He was a detail oriented man. It had nothing to do with their past, she rationalized.

"No, Sakura. I have not been on any missions." His voice had grown quiet and solemn. She wondered how he could not be out on a missions. He was extremely valuable and to keep a shinobi of his caliber grounded was very unusual, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

"I would like a deeper look. I would require contact for this. May I?" She was so, so proud of herself for keeping her voice even. Butterflies exploded in her stomach even as she felt her anxiety spike. She had been hoping that whatever was wrong with him would've been easy to locate and would not require direct contact to fix, but he was not being forthcoming. Not with what happened between him and Sasuke that would have required Shisui's intervention. Not with what would be causing his chakra exhaustion. Not with his reason for initially refusing examination when he had no prior history of doing so.

"Yes." Itachi's hushed reply seemed too loud in the small patient room. His eyes had taken on a luminous quality in the fluorescent lighting of the room. She lifted her hands and touched his chest lightly, reflexively swallowing as she closed her eyes to concentrate on the task at hand. He was a patient. He was suffering chakra drain. He was off limits. He was lost to her. He was Itachi. He was here. He was the love of her life.

She let her chakra trail through his system methodically, searching for where he could be ailing. It felt like something was tugging on his chakra, but it was small. Every time she tried to follow the thread it felt like it would shift and elude her. She had not felt this in years prior when she had healed him, but this could've cropped up in months prior while they had not been in contact. Either way, her mind concluded that this was not large enough to cause his level of drain. She let that train of thought go and continued looking. Her lost herself inside of his pathways, seeking out a perforation, a leak and found none. She found herself growing frustrated. Nothing was wrong with him medically, but he felt empty.

She opened her eyes to find him leaning forward, pressing his chest to her hands firmly. His eyes were fixed on hers, his now shining oxblood, boring into her. His sharingan was not activated, but barely leashed. His face was close, much too close her mind warned, his warm breath fanning over the tops of her cheeks. She felt blood flush her cheeks and pulled her hands from his chest as if burned. He followed her hands for a fraction of a second, seeking contact. She pushed her stool away from him and saw in her periphery his hands lift, an aborted motion to reach for her before pressing against the table. 

She coughed and shook her head, as if that would clear the air between them or erase what just occurred. "I can't find the reason why you're exhausted. There is nothing in your system that I could see that was worrisome. I don't know what you're doing, Itac- Itachi-san, but whatever it is I recommend you stop doing it or you'll be back in here." She didn't know if that was a threat or not given what he just did. She knew touched him as she would any other patient. What happened after was... 

She risked looking at him to see his nail beds turning white with how hard he was pressing his hands to the table. She didn't understand any of this and if she didn't get out of this too small room with Itachi, patient or not, she would do something regrettable. "Go home. Eat. Sleep. Do things you enjoy. I'm going to get, Shisui to help you home."

She didn't let Itachi say a word before she fled the room. She went on the hunt for Shisui. He had dropped not one bomb, but two in her lap tonight without any warning. Sasuke was complicated enough. Itachi was on another level entirely. She was not expecting Itachi to act as he had. She had heard from Tsunade he didn't seem happy at the wedding, but there were no rumors in the village to the contrary. 

When she spied Shisui chatting up one of her nurses she wanted to bury him. She knew she had to catch the bastard first though. She barked, "Take your cousin home, Shisui." 

"Blossom-chan, you don't want to keep him overnight?" There was a teasing light in his eyes and she wanted nothing more than to pluck them out. It all felt like too much. Sasuke's anger, Itachi's mixed messages, and now Shisui. She felt on edge, like a joke was being made at her expense with his quip. 

She stalked up to him, every line of her body promising pain as she got right in his face. She kept her voice low so she wouldn't be overheard by passersby, "I don't know what your game is, Shisui. Maybe your cousin didn't want me, but my heart hasn't changed. Go get him and get the fuck out of my hospital."

Shisui's eyes darkened, his entire form relaxing. "That's exactly what I wanted to know, Sakura-san. Thank you for checking out both of my cousins this evening. I'm very sorry that Sasuke was rude to you and that we came by unannounced." He took two steps back, giving her nod of thanks. Hands folded behind his back he strolled back to Itachi's room as if he hadn't a care in the world.


	8. Chapter 8

Sakura sat in the cafe, watching the rain drizzling outside, her coffee strong and dark this morning. It was such a gray start to April, but it matched her mood this morning. She hadn't seen Sasuke since the hospital visit. She told Naruto she saw Sasuke, that it didn't go well, and left it at that. Naruto didn't need to know under what circumstances she saw Sasuke or the content of their conversation. Hell, he probably knew more than she did if she were to go by his reaction.

If she were to be honest with herself, she felt like she was missing something big that only the Uchiha could give her. The more she thought about it, the more things weren't adding up. Sasuke had never turned his sharingan on her unless they were training. It wasn't until she mentioned Itachi that his eyes blazed red. It was well known within Team 7 that Sasuke had a brother complex. However, a similar form of over protection seemed to extend to Team 7. She concluded it was a fit of unbridled emotion that made his dojutsu turn on just as Itachi barely restrained his later that evening when she touched him. There were issues surrounding Itachi that she unknowingly set off. That didn't mean she deserved whatever ire he had built up, she groused into her coffee. 

Itachi, in the years she had known him, had never suffered chakra exhaustion. It wasn't mission related and he had no reason to lie to her, but he wasn't being forthcoming either. Nothing was medically wrong with him. If the cause of his drain was medical, she would've found it. Then after the more invasive chakra scan he had changed into someone more familiar to her. He was again the Uchiha Itachi from their early courtship. He was the perfect shinobi in public, but in private he could barely keep his sharingan from turning on when in close quarters. He was all repressed emotions and aborted movements. The night at the hospital haunted her dreams, turning into what ifs, leaving her yearning and lonely in the middle of the night. She shoved that thought to the back of her mind, settling her thoughts somewhere quiet and far away from the Uchiha brothers who had too often occupied her time in the days following her birthday.

She was roused from her thoughts from a tap on the table. She looked up to meet the dark, kind eyes of the current Uchiha matriarch, Uchiha Mikoto. Her voice gentle, a smile tugging at her lips knowing she had clearly startled Sakura, "Is this seat taken Haruno-san?" 

"O-oh! No! Uchiha-sama. Of course not." She straightened in her chair, pulling her cup of coffee closer to herself. "Sakura, please. I used to practically live at the compound before..." Her answering smile was tight, but she had not seen Mikoto in over six months. As far as Sakura was concerned, regardless of romantic ties, Mikoto had been nothing but good to her. 

"Then you should call me as you always have, Sakura. Mikoto-san. It is only fair, is it not?" She sipped her tea, eyes smiling at Sakura over the rim of her teacup. Sakura felt her heart throb. Itachi had gotten this mannerism from his mother. 

"I concede, Mikoto-san." She knew that Itachi, and Sasuke to a lesser degree, took after their mother. She supposed she didn't realize just how much until now.

"It came to my attention that you saw both of my sons last week, Sakura. What did you think?"

"Mikoto-san, I regret to tell you that I cannot divulge the details of their visit. It's part of patient and doctor confidentiality." She had given this line many, many times to a concerned loved one. Mikoto didn't seem overly concerned, more curious than anything.

"Oh, you mistake my intentions. I apologize, Sakura, I do not want to put you in a difficult position. I wish to know what you personally thought of their demeanors." 

Sakura shifted in her seat, swirling her coffee in the cup, she could give her something vague to appease her. Information she probably already knew. "Mikoto-san, I have not seen either one of your sons for months and then I saw both at the same time. I admit that I do not know what is going on within the Uchiha clan, but it appears to be placing strain on both of them."

She felt, more than saw the shimmer of genjutsu, fall around them. She knew her face conveyed open confusion at the use of the technique in public. She felt an itch on the back of her neck, but disregarded it, in favor of focusing on the woman in front of her.

"I apologize for the need for secrecy. I find even I am not so subtle as Itachi in genjutsu. He achieves so much with so little chakra." She shook her head, as if clearing away a cobweb before continuing,  
"I came here for a meaningful conversation, Sakura-san. I apologize for intruding on your free time to do so."

"My children are strong, Sakura-san. Do you know a Uchiha's greatest strength?" She paused, taking drink from her tea, seeming to savor the warmth on this dreary, chilly day. "Love is the foundation of Uchiha strength. Naruto-san talks about... bonds? My children are bonded to you. Although each is of a different nature. Please do not think them immune to your suffering despite their distance." A pale, long fingered hand- so like Itachi's her mind shrieked- touched her own in comfort.

"Mikoto-san, with all due respect and forgive me if I offend, but I turned down Itachi-san's offer to be his second wife or his concubine. After that he disappeared with nary a word. A month later I was sent a wedding invitation for Itachi's marriage to another woman." Sakura carefully withdrew her hand under the guise of taking a drink of her coffee, meeting the matriarch's eyes evenly.

"A concubine, you say..." There was tightening around Mikoto's eyes, the curve of her lips growing brittle. "Forgive me, Sakura-san, I was not privy to that particular detail. I apologize for speaking without knowing the harm done to your honor. I cannot imagine the insult incurred at such an offer." The Matriarch's eyes were serious. It didn't stop her from pushing forward though. "The second wife proposal I can only speak to from memory, as such a thing has not been in practice for generations. I was only taught of it when I prepared to take on the mantle of matriarch. If I were unable to provide Fugaku an heir, then the provision of a second wife was built into the clan's bylaws for legitimate heirs." Mikoto's fingers were now drumming on the table, her nails making quiet taps before stopping. "The invitations were not our doing." Her lips were now pressed in a firm line, it appeared as if she had figured something out and was not pleased with the conclusions she was drawing.

"I would never have shared him, Mikoto-san. Second wife or concubine- It doesn't matter to me. I made that clear." Sakura leaned back in her chair, finding the information from Mikoto overwhelming, but she couldn't let it show. This was more information than anyone had given her in the months of silence she had endured. "Forgive me, but what is this conversation meant to achieve?"

"So like Tsunade-sama." Mikoto lifted her hand, smiling behind it. The humor drifted off her fair features as she considered Sakura's question, swirling her tea in her cup before drinking the last of it. "As you said, when you saw my sons they were strained. I would see this resolved and I am not beyond using my influence to do so." Her smile razor sharp, and suddenly Sakura was reminded why the Uchiha Matriarch was so feared. She handled things with kid gloves, but those gloves only hid the iron underneath. 

"Thank you for your time, Sakura-san." The shimmer of the genjutsu fell away and the Mikoto Uchiha left her feeling more unsettled than she had since the night at the hospital.  
\---

"Heeeeey, Sakura-san. Naruto says meet him at Ichiraku's for ramen." 

Sakura was so startled she dropped her book, almost rolled off the couch, and now felt thoroughly irritated. Was Naruto cashing in one of his two favors? Why did it need to be THIS toad? Gamatatsu loved food and no doubt he was promised some in exchange for delivering the message! The toads always wanted one thing or another- food, cigarettes, didn't want to stay as scouts unless it was a "cool battle." 

She found herself grateful she never needed to haggle when she summoned Katsuyu for help. Huffing, she slid on her sandals and turned to look at Gamatatsu. "Tell him I'll meet you there." 

"Will there be snacks?"

She grit her teeth. "Of course. Now, please deliver my message."

She resisted the urge to slam the door on her way out, jogging to Ichiraku's, because Naruto was never late for a ramen meeting. It didn't matter if that meeting was in no way scheduled or even tentatively planned. If he said meet him for ramen, there were minutes to spare before he was excitedly walking into the stall, yammering about what kind of ramen he was going to pick out. 

She ducked under the cloth to enter the seating area for Ichiraku's, slightly out of breath and damp from the rain that had transformed into mist throughout the day. She quickly spotted a dirty Naruto at the end with a sulking, scuffed up Sasuke, and Gamatatsu next to Sasuke looking oblivious to Sasuke's mood. The picture that they painted made her want to laugh, except she had to deal with them, and that made her not want to laugh as much. She seated herself next to Naruto who seemed to glow with her appearance. Upon closer approach she noticed he was sporting a rapidly swelling black eye.

"Sakura-chaaaan! You made it!" 

"Of course I did. Now, what did you DO?" She leaned around Naruto to get a good look at Sasuke now that she was closer. He was sporting a shiner on the opposite eye and his jaw looked swollen, his cheek having a angry abrasion that spanned from his jaw to his cheekbone. Sasuke for his part refused to meet her eyes, staring at the countertop, pushing a drop of water around with his index finger. 

"I brought Teme in for our ramen date! He just needed ta be convinced ta come." He grinned and then winced with the motion. 

"You idiots! Both of you! A ramen meeting is not worth fighting over." She lifted a glowing hand over Naruto's eye and began healing it. Naruto leaned in, his form relaxing as her cooling chakra soothed the inflamed flesh. The entire exchange was natural as breathing to the pair. Naruto and Sasuke bickered with their fists as much as their words. 

"Don't be annoying, Sakura. You know this wasn't over meeting for ramen." Sasuke for his part scowled, or attempted to before tensing in pain. 

Naruto growled, "Shut it, Teme. You remember why I brought ya here, right?" 

Naruto didn't deign to turn in his stool while Sakura was healing him, something they both knew annoyed Sasuke to no end. Sasuke craved attention and hated being spoken to without being faced. He could forgive a lack of eye contact due to his dojutsu, but facing someone was courtesy in his mind. 

"Aa." Sakura lowered her hand and leaned back and around Naruto. "Sasuke, will you lean forward? I'd like to heal your eye and cheek before we order and eat."

She lifted both hands, alight with healing chakra. One hand hovered, cupping Sasuke's cheek and the other was placed flat above Sasuke's eye. Sasuke for his part did meet her eyes after she began to heal him, his own lacking the tension and rage she witnessed in the hospital. Pitch black, but not cold, she noted. He spoke quietly, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I was unkind."

"What he means ta say is he was an asshole." Naruto grumbled, more to himself than anything, but it didn't stop Sakura and Sasuke from hearing him.

"Shut UP, Naruto. He's trying!" She barked back at Naruto. A deep frown marred her features, but she didn't break eye contact with the lone eye that Sasuke was looking at her with. 

"I took things out on you that weren't your fault. My Clan..." She let her hands fall from his face, healing completed. She didn't know if Sasuke would continue beyond this. She didn't know if he knew his mother had come to see her, let alone what she had said. However, she knew Sasuke rarely did apologies, let elaborate on his feelings, and this was difficult for him. "I will be more present in your life going forward. If you find that acceptable."

She could practically feel him retreating from her emotionally, so she seized the moment. Her hands grabbed his tightly, squeezing to reassure him. "Of course I do! Just don't disappear again, Sasuke." Sasuke for his part offered a slight, lopsided smile before carefully pulling his hands from hers. He patted them once before pulling away entirely and sitting properly in his stool.

She could feel Naruto radiating with pleasure between them and swore the temperature went up. "So, ramen?"

So Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, and Gamatatsu ate ramen as it rained outside and grew dark. Eleven bowls later Sakura paid up. She eyed Naruto and his toad, shaking her nearly empty slug purse. Naruto's help, when the price was ramen, could be high. She had her team whole again though and she felt that was worth it. 

She saw Sasuke leaning on the counter, waiting for Naruto to finish with Gamatatsu, and found herself wanting to test a theory. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer, and what it might cost her. She knew she would never be satisfied if she never looked for confirmation though.

She leaned across the counter and plucked a white carnation from a vase. She stuck out her arm to Sasuke, who for his part looked down at her offering and then looked up at her like she had grown two heads. "What are you on about, Sakura?"

Her chest tightened, but she forced herself to remain calm. She forced herself to play dumb in front of him and kept her hand up, tremble free. "What do you mean?"

"You know I don't feel that way for you." Flat. Classic Sasuke.

Her heart began to race even as she felt her chest grew tighter. "You know what this means? Is this taught in all clans?" 

"Yes. Oka-san taught Itachi and I when we were young. For your second question, no. My mother thought it was important to learn the language, but it's considered a woman's art. It's not important to other clans. The exception would be the Yamanaka and maybe the Nara and Akimichi by association. You know this. Where are you going with this, Sakura?" He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Nothing, Sasuke. Nothing at all." She shook her head, putting the carnation back, her mind whirling with the implications of this conversation coupled with her interaction with the Uchiha Matriarch two weeks prior. She forced out a half truth, "I was just curious about who knew the language of flowers. Seems such a silly thing not to teach everyone, you know. Anyway, I'm going to take off." She plastered on a smile, refusing to engage his searching eyes and returned Naruto's wave as she left Ichiraku's. 

\---  
"Who is sending me flowers, Ino?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"Uchiha Itachi."

Sakura launched herself from her seated position on the ground onto Ino's form, pushing her shoulders into the dirt, her face contorted in rage. "Why?! Why is he sending me flowers?" She knew her grip was tight. Too tight. Ino's bones creaking under Sakura's grip. "Why didn't you tell me? You know the meanings of those flowers he's been sending for months!"

"Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!" Ino's hands shot up and grabbed Sakura's forearms. Manicured nails sunk into Sakura's ivory skin, drawing blood. "Izumi Uchiha came to me three weeks after the invitations went out and explained that there would be an Uchiha coming in place orders. She provided all of the payment information and additional legal paperwork, but no information on which Uchiha. I've seen legal paperwork for flowers for Clan courtships and figured with the Uchiha wedding they wanted to keep a low profile. I didn't think twice before I signed. " Sakura's grip relaxed fractionally, and Ino breathed a sigh of relief feeling the pressure on her skeleton ease up. "He was like a ghost in my shop. He hand selected each of those flowers. He didn't ask me for the meanings, suggestions, or even speak to me." Ino's eyes were begging Sakura to see the truth of her words.

"That still doesn't my question, Ino! Why is he sending them? Why didn't you tell me?!" A demand. A plea.

"Aren't those meanings plain enough, Sakura? I'm not defending the man, but he is living with what he has done. You're always in the hospital, but I've heard the gossip mill. The only time he seems present is when he is touching those flowers. I don't know what his Clan has over him that he hasn't come to you directly to hash this out." Ino's glossy lips were pressed together in a tight line. "Do you really think I enjoyed keeping silent? That it was fun keeping this from you for months? Part of Izumi's paperwork was gag order, I couldn't speak unless it was you that came to me asking."


	9. Chapter 9

"Haruno-san, Hokage-sama is requesting your presence in the Tower." A chunin stood in the doorway to her office. She looked up from her charts, set down her pen, and gave a curt nod. It must be important if Kakashi was sending a messenger. 

Things had been a whirlwind since the end of April. She didn't have much time to dedicate to her personal life, but it was a welcome relief. She was kept busy at the hospital performing yearly physicals for the shinobi of the village- something that Tsunade had instituted during her time during hokage. When she wasn't scheduled for those, she was tracking down non-compliant jonin and ANBU to "convince" them to come in for examination. This never escalated to physically dragging them in, but sweet smiles and thinly veiled threats to have them put on less desirable missions or removed from the mission rosters worked. It was during this time of year she was eternally grateful that the hospital and the administration understood each other so well. This onerous task combined with the daily running of the hospital, the general uptick of activity in the labor and delivery department, and completing all the paperwork piled on her desk left her feeling worn thin.

She performed the required hand seals, appeared before the large doors of the Hokage's office, and knocked firmly. She heard Kakashi's muffled "come in" and entered without a second thought. Upon entry, her eyes swept over the room taking in the occupants. The charged air turned downright oppressive, familiar black seals scrolling across the wall and pulsing with blue chakra, signifying the privacy wards were active. 

She knew Kakashi who sat across the desk, a slight slouch in his form, but he was wearing his official robes. On the other side of the desk she recognized the Uchiha Clan head and Matriarch, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha. She did not know the other two individuals seated on the same side, but apart from the married couple. They were aged, with the distinct Uchiha dark eyes and fair skin, but Sakura knew she had never seen them in the village or in the Uchiha compound.

"Sakura-chan, thank you for coming on such short notice. I know you are acquainted with Fugaku-san and Mikoto-san, but I don't know if you have ever been introduced to Takahashi-san and Suzuki-san. They are the Uchiha elders." Kakashi's tone was friendly, his hand waving her over from the doorway. 

She felt stuck to the spot. These were the two people responsible for her life being upended. The people Itachi had bargained with for a year, to no avail, for a marriage. She wanted nothing more than to bring this building down with them in it. She needed to maintain control. She didn't know why these people were here or what they wanted with her, but she wasn't going to give them an inch. She chose to stand to Kakashi's right and adopted her medic persona, "How can I be of assistance, Hokage-sama?"

"Maa, Sakura-chan. Always so respectful. Takahashi-san and Suzuki-san have a few questions for you."

She fixed the Uchiha elders with a blank stare, waiting for their questions. She intentionally kept her figure non-threatening, but tall as she could make herself with squared shoulders. She had no reason to shrink before these old bags. 

"Have you seen Uchiha Itachi since his marriage, Haruno-san?" Takahashi inquired, leaning forward in his chair, his careful eyes assessing.

"Once. Shisui-san brought Itachi-san and Sasuke to the hospital on March 28th for treatment. Itachi-san was examined and then released in Shisui-san's care." She slipped her hands into the pockets of her white coat, straightening the jacket to show off the embroidered credentials on her right breast.

"Have you written him since his marriage, Haruno-san?" Suzuki asked in an offhand manner, not deigning to look at her.

"No, Suzuki-san." She felt her temper flare, but kept control of her chakra so no one in the room would feel the spike. She did not appreciate the implications of such a question given the nature of her and Itachi's past relationship.

"What about Sasuke, Haruno-san? Have you funneled any communications to Uchiha Itachi through Uchiha Sasuke? Or you have moved your affections to the younger...?" A raised brow on Takahashi's wizened face as he let the question hang in the air. 

Sakura wanted to slaughter this man. It was an insult to not only her, but to Itachi and Sasuke. Visions of violence flickered through her mind. Before she could reply a soft, feminine voice cut through the thick air saving her from responding.

"If I may interject, I thought we established that Haruno-san has not seen or had any communication with my eldest since his marriage. My youngest has nothing to do with this inquest. I believe before we arrived these were the two questions that needed to be vetted before we could proceed further. There are no other questions." Her voice turned silky towards the end, head tilting towards the side as if daring them to counter.

"And if there are more questions based on her answers, Mikoto?" Suzuki challenged, her eyes cutting sideways to size up the Matriarch. 

"I do not see how there could be, Suzuki-san." Mikoto paused as if she were mulling something over and then casually continued her train of thought, "However, since you and Takahashi-san are both here I am concerned about something that should have been addressed a long time ago. Haruno-san has studied the sharingan extensively. Hokage-sama, Sasuke, and Itachi have all had theirs examined by her. When was the last time yours was looked at?"

The temperature in the room dropped. Sakura felt her battle instincts rise, but she didn't move from her spot next to Kakashi. In her peripheral vision she could see Kakashi watching all four of the Uchiha while one hand was signing under the desk. She didn't know the code, but no doubt he was communicating to his guard. 

"We have not been active in years, Mikoto. There has been no need to submit to examination." Takahashi scoffed, his hands moving to grip the armrests to push himself up to stand. Before he could rise Fugaku spoke.

"I disagree, esteemed elder Takahashi. For the health of our Clan, as long as we carry the sharingan, we carry both a gift and a curse. We are responsible not only to ourselves, but to others." His voice was gravely, his gaze serious and unbending. "I find myself agreeing with the Matriarch. Haruno-san is capable. If she is willing, she should examine the condition of your sharingan." In profile, Fugaku looked carved from stone, her turned his flinty eyes to her own, "Haruno-san, would you exam both elders?"

"It doesn't matter if she will perform the exam. I do not consent!" Suzumi sneered, rising to her feet, turning on her feet and preparing to leave the office. 

ANBU flickered into the room. Sakura watched in mute shock as the Uchiha elders were restrained. Both with arms held behind their backs, forced onto their knees, facing away from the Hokage's desk. Sakura looked at Kakashi with widened eyes, seeking direction. These were his ANBU, but these were Clan elders with Clan heads in the office. This was uncharted territory for her. 

"Examine their sharingan, Sakura." Kakashi's tone brokered no argument. 

Her muscles felt like rubber as she approached Takahashi first. Her hands touched his temples, her eyes not meeting his searching gaze refusing to risk getting trapped in a genjutsu. She quickly forced her chakra in, examining his retina, optic disc, nerve, chiasm, and then into the brain. She grit her teeth and nudged additional chakra into his pathways to activate his sharingan. She was stunned at the anomalous appearance she was faced with. The chakra he was pumping felt tainted as it flowed alongside her own. She was surprised to feel his chakra start attacking her own.

Soft whispers starting to echo in her head about her loneliness. That no one really wanted her, and it showed the past few months, with Itachi and Sasuke's abandonment. She was naturally inferior for being a nameless, clanless nothing. She ripped her hands off Takahashi's temples after a minute of whispers, shaking her head to dispel those insidious thoughts. They didn't belong to her, she reminded herself. They were lies from a poisoned mind.

She stepped over to Suzuki and performed the same procedure, found the same toxic chakra fighting her own, the shadows and darkness, the thoughts that invaded her own. These thoughts whispered about Senju whores who would dare taint the Uchiha bloodline, mongrel offspring, and the indignity and fall of the Uchiha clan at a cast off's hands. She found herself clenching her fists after removing her hands from Suzumi, struggling with herself. None of it was true. Not a word, but it was still hard.

She met Kakashi's eyes, and only his, refusing to look at any of the Uchiha in the room while she gave a report of her findings.

\---  
Takahashi and Suzumi were removed by Kakashi's ANBU. Where they went Sakura didn't know or care. Fugaku left claiming he needed to see to the Clan in light of this event. Kakashi was just outside the door and said he would return momentarily. She leaned back in one of the recently abandoned seats feeling drained. She wanted Mikoto to leave and Kakashi to return so she could finally be dismissed.

"Sakura-san, thank you for what you did today. I know none of this has been fair to you." Soft, she sounded like the kind Mikoto-san she knew.

"You used me, Mikoto-san. No need to thank me. You're right though, none of this has been fair to me." Sakura threw her arm over her eyes, trying to erase today's events from her mind.

"No, I did not use you. I gave you a way forward." Mikoto's steps whispered across the floor as she took a seat beside Sakura. "Did you ever think it would be easy? Wars are not always fought abroad or on a battlefield. Itachi chose wisely in you." She rested her chin on an open palm, dark eyes looking at Sakura's slumped form. 

"I distinctly remember him not choosing me, Mitoko-san. Do you enjoy pouring salt in my wounds today?" Her lips twisted, baring her teeth. She resolutely kept her arm over her teary eyes choosing the path that preserved her dignity.

"We do not wound our own to spite them, Sakura-san." A ghost of a pat on Sakura's thigh. "When you see him, tell him to drop the genjutsu."  
\---

That night she found daffodils on her table.

She summarily picked them up and dropped them in the trash.

She was done with today and had no forgiveness for anyone.  
\---

Two weeks later Itachi Uchiha and Izumi Uchiha were no longer married. 

Amicably annulled was the word on the street. Less than six months of marriage.

The gossip mill exploded with the news.


	10. Chapter 10

When they met, it was after midnight in the forests outside of Konoha. 

They agreed on neutral ground through Shisui's summons. 

She found him waiting for her, sitting in the shadows of a large oak. She approached slowly, but lacking the anxiousness she thought she might have when they would finally meet again. He had been single? Divorced? She did not know what to call his status in her mind a month now. She had ignored his floral messages and sunk herself into her own life. It was not that she had hardened her heart to him or refused to hear his side of the story, but that she craved distance. She found she needed to reflect on what had transpired since March separate of Uchiha influence. She wanted to find her inner peace before speaking with Itachi.

She took a seat next to him, but not touching, under the great tree. He did not turn his eyes from the lake in the distance, choosing to remain silent, and she recognized this as his way of allowing her set the tone for the conversation they were about to have.

"Please drop the genjutsu, Itachi." Her voice was a bare whisper in the night. She dropped the farce of a suffix on his name. Itachi finally faced her, his eyes widening in surprise as the illusion melted from his flawless face. Dark bruises hugged underneath eyes, his cheek bones were sharper, and his skin was paper white. His hair, though longer now, was still loosely tied back, appeared lank. He was dressed in all black and lacked the customary Uchiha markings she had always seen him in. Her eyes did a clinical sweep of his form, noting he appeared lean and wiry instead of lithe and toned as he had before.

"How?" His own voice was hushed in the night. 

"Your mother. Sasuke must've been alluding to it in his fit of anger at the hospital. This is what I couldn't see, isn't it?" She shook her head, rueful. "This must be what that tiny tug was on your chakra that I felt when I examined you. Your mother said you did so much with so little." She offered her hand to him, palm up. "You need chakra. Allow me while you tell your story." He voice remained quiet, but it was less request and more statement at the end. He would explain the past few months to her and he would explain it to her satisfaction.

"As you wish, Sakura. Thank you." His quiet voice was soothing, appreciative. He placed his palm in hers, but there was no possessive curl to his fingers like there might've once been. She could feel the twitch of his fingertips and she ruthlessly suppressed the urge to shiver. She would hear his side before giving any ground. 

"I will start with Izumi and my relationship with her. She loved me at one point, but she was in love with the idea of Uchiha Itachi. Prior to the wedding I made it clear that I was marrying her to appease the elders, but that this was purely a political marriage. I explained to her our situation, with discretion, and that my marriage to her would never be consummated. There would be no children. Izumi, in turn, revealed to me that she had aspirations to marry me and into the main family some years prior but that was no longer part of her plans. However, she would be willing to assist as she did not see me not finding a loophole. I think it was friendship at the end. She has the sharingan and given my present... predicament it may have been sympathy." A slight smile curled at his lips at the end.  
He shifted slightly to lean back against the tree more, for comfort or support she couldn't tell. 

Sakura kept her thread of chakra running through her hand and into his steady despite the information he had just given her. No doubt he would shock her as he revealed more information, but it didn't change the fact that inside he was hollow. She couldn't accidentally damage his system more by losing control. His pathways were dry riverbeds and his coils felt charred. It would take her weeks to fix the damage here. She took a steadying breath before asking, "Why are you suffering chakra exhaustion?"

"Aa. That I did to myself. The elders thought they had my marriage secured and coveted my power for themselves, so I took it away. Some deterioration on my part was inevitable though." He shrugged, as if it was nothing, his head tilting back against the tree now. She suspected that he was starting to relax now that he was feeling the first fresh boost of chakra in months. She kept her palm open, chakra steady, but she wanted to shake him until he rattled at his nonchalance.

"Itachi, you know how serious chakra exhaustion is. You're seriously going to tell me you kept yourself depleted for months as a show of independence? What is inevitable about chakra exhaustion?" Her voice turned sharp, a frown turning her lips down, her eyes disapproving.

Dark eyes turned her way, heated and full of wrath, the first spark of true emotion she had seen from him the entire meeting. "They took you from me and stole a future that was rightfully ours. I would not have these eyes if not for the Uchiha, but I cultivated their power. It was my choice to make. As for inevitable, I suffered without you. Contrary to popular belief, I am not made of stone." 

She took in his haunted form as he sunk back into the tree. He broke eye contact with her, casting his eyes back to the lake his features falling back to nothing. He wasn't masking himself from her, she realized, he was simply tired. She recognized the lack of definite expression because she had worn it too often herself in the past months since their separation. She plowed forward before she could dwell on that thought, "Why did you not tell me any of your plans? Why did you send me flowers?"

"I knew before entering the marriage that annulment or death was the only way that held a shred of hope that you would speak to me again. To achieve that end I had to keep you blameless in the whole ordeal, so I could not tell you anything. If you knew, then you would be considered an accomplice." He lifted his free hand, combing his fingers through his hair, a tell of his growing unease. "As for the flowers, I did not know how long I would not be able to see or speak to you. The idea of going months with nothing was madness. Even if you never knew I was sending them, sending them would need to be enough. " A tendon jumped in his neck before he turned his head away, the tie binding his hair having fallen away, his expression hidden by the curtain of his hair. 

"One last thing, for now, Itachi. Why did you marry Izumi and how did you get your marriage annulled?" She had truthfully never seen Itachi this open, physically or emotionally, and she found herself aching for him. She needed to know these answers before she made any decisions of her own though.

"I married Izumi because I made all of the wrong decisions. I put you in an impossible position and you rightfully put me in my place. I have lived in regret since. I am so sorry for the harm I have caused you." He began to pull the hand that was still trickling chakra into his system from hers, the shame so thick in his voice she could taste it. She reflexively gripped his hand tightly, cutting her chakra at the same time. His answer was important. "Kohona's records will say my marriage was annulled based on irreconcilable differences. The clan records will say it was never consummated. However, what is not recorded anywhere is your testimony of what you saw in the Uchiha Takahashi and Uchiha Suzuki's eyes in Kakashi's office. You set me free, unknowingly, after my clan and I did you nothing but injustice."

Exhaustion. This all felt too exhausting all of a sudden. She came to get answers and she had them. She wanted nothing more than to sleep and she saw no reason to deny herself. 

"Can we talk more in the morning?" Her voice had dropped to a whisper. She did not want to deal out more punishment. She found they both had more than enough of that over the past few months and she found precious little of it had actually been of their own making. He could not help the position of his birth no more than she could help her own. Neither one could help the machinations of an old clan and she did not want to think of either of the Uchiha elders tonight. 

Perhaps, she could afford a small measure of comfort.

"Of course, Sakura. Thank you for listening to me and for the chakra. It is more kindness than I could ever expect." He carefully withdrew his hand from her own to rise slowly to his feet. She rose to her own, less gracefully than he did even with as worn as he seemed to be. She whipped her hand out before he could turn to look at her, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and performed a one hand seal with her free hand, transporting them both to her homely apartment.

"You said we could talk more in the morning. Stay. Sleep." She looked up at him with tired eyes, a shadow of the firmer woman who walked into the forest earlier this evening, but truth was if he resisted she didn't have it in her to convince him. She was afraid they would both fall asleep and the morning light would change things and they wouldn't talk. Sleeping in the same apartment forced them to face each other in the morning. She couldn't hide in the hospital and he couldn't hide in the compound. 

He stared at her in mute shock and then shook his head, heading to the bedroom. She could hear him slipping off his sandals and removing his outer robes. She swallowed her own nervousness and headed in to find him already laying on her bed, facing where she would be laying down, but ever respectful he kept his hands to himself. She noticed he chose to lay on top of the covers, but had pulled back the covers for her to lay under and was touched that he assumed nothing by this invitation. She took off her own sandals, medic skirt, and vest. She slipped underneath the covers, pulling them over, choosing to lay on her back and face the ceiling. She felt his eyes on her, but only closed her own, not wanting to complicate this moment with words. 

It was enough to know he was here now.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, she knew she was waking up much later than her ungodly "normal" wake up time. The warmth of the sun on one side of her through the window told her as much. She supposed she earned it though. The night before was exhausting emotionally and despite the few hours she had snuck in after last night's meeting with Itachi, she hadn't felt this well rested in weeks. She slowly stretched in place, careful not to disturb her companion, and risked opening her eyes only to find him solidly asleep. 

Itachi, for his part, had kept faithfully to his side of the bed and stayed on top of the covers. The only evidence that he had ever strayed was one hand, fingers curled in her hair, that had pulled her locks to his side and tucked his hand under his nose. She might've snorted if he didn't paint such a portrait of longing with his position, sharp cheekbones, and wan skin.

Sakura knew he was always built more on the lean side, suited more to speed than brute strength in combat, but without the genjutsu masking his appearance she could see why Sasuke was enraged in the hospital. She knew without the Sharingan and without someone telling her, she would've never thought he was casting one to mask his appearance. She still couldn't stop the regret that simmered in the back of her mind, no matter how unreasonable it was.

Carefully, she pulled her hair from his fingers. She was eternally grateful for his exhausted state this morning because she had nothing to feed him. Practically living at the hospital, she only came home for showers and sleep. She shifted from the bed, eyeing him warily for signs of distress. She saw his brows furrow slightly before relaxing again before she felt comfortable leaving the room with a set of fresh clothes. 

She readied herself quickly. Shower, teeth, sandals. She crept back into the bedroom long enough to drape the blanket she kept on her couch over Itachi. He curled into it slightly, pressing his nose into the fabric much like he had done with her hair before. She let her eyes linger on his vulnerable form before shaking her head, forcing herself from the room and onto the streets of Konoha. They needed food and Itachi would not sleep much longer without her there.

She hit each stall she needed with efficiency. Her basket was full and she was now feeling much better about the care of her unexpected house guest. She was eyeing peaches as she barely felt, before she heard, Shisui beside her, "Ah, Blossom-chan! It's good to see you here this morning. I wonder if you have seen my cute cousin? I have not seen him this morning." Although his tone was friendly and playful at the edges, she could feel his eyes boring into the side of her head. She decided then and there that there was no way she was looking at him until he lowered the intimidation level. 

"Relax, Shisui. He is with me. I was actually getting groceries for us." She lifted the arm holding her basket. There was clearly too much food in there for one person. She picked up two peaches, shifted her basket in the crook of her arm with some awkwardness, and handed the stall keeper some money. She placed she peaches in the basket without looking up. "Dango is the last thing on my list. Are you coming or not?" She started to walk to the last stall, the one that would take her closest to her apartment.

Shisui followed with his hands folded behind his head, the weight of his gaze only lifting when she placed the order for two different types of dango and canisters of hot green tea to go. It lead further credibility to her story. He knew what Sakura preferred in terms of deserts and tea and these were not it. These were Itachi's childhood favorites. 

"I'm going home. Unless you want to come?" She raised a brow at him, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Shisui shook his head, "No, Blossom-chan. I needed to make sure my cousin was safe. For all I knew he could've been in a forest somewhere all by his lonesome." He turned on heel, walking away, much as he had in the hospital. Sakura still wanted to bury Uchiha Shisui because he was an ass in general, but he loved his cousins. Even if the whole world burned, he would see to their comfort. She would give Shisui that much credit because she would do the same in his place for her precious people.

\---  
When she returned, she found Itachi still dozing. She knew she would need to rouse him for food.

She portioned out soup, rice, and kept the dango off to the side on her side of the table. She poured the steaming tea in a plain cup on his side. Her own coffee was still piping hot on her own side.

She sat on her edge of the bed, taking a breath to steel her nerves, "Itachi. Itachi, it's time to wake up."

He didn't wake instantly, but seemed to be dragged from slumber reluctantly and it drew out a small smile from her. How many people got to see a pout on Uchiha Itachi's face because he didn't want to wake up? She shook her head and firmed her voice, increasing her volume a little, "Itachi, I have breakfast. It's time to wake." 

At this he opened his eyes, charcoal bleary from sleep, only to wince and snap them shut from the light that streamed in from her side of the room. Her mind supplied 'ruffled kitten' and from the way he was gripping the cover she had draped over him. It looked like he wanted nothing more than to drag it over his head. She thoughtfully shifted, blocking the light from his eyes, and when he opened them again the confusion from sleep was gone and replaced by soft warmth. "Sakura, good morning." His voice was husky from sleep.

She ruthlessly suppressed the shiver that ran down her spine, but could not help the goose bumps that caused the fine hairs on her arms to rise. Itachi was in no condition, her mind supplied, to be eliciting those sort of reactions. They had just started talking after months of painful silence and her body was acting as if nothing was amiss. Ridiculous! Itachi's eyes caught the raised hairs on her arms and a flash of something stole through his eyes, but it was gone before Sakura could identify it. She swallowed and pushed forward, "I went to the market and bought breakfast back. You need to eat." 

Itachi's face softened, with shame at his own neglect or at her thoughtfulness she couldn't tell, but the end result would be the same. He would eat. She stood and smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in her shirt. "It's on the table and hot. Come out and eat and then I'll start healing you." She couldn't stand to see him in her bed, looking so soft and tousled, without touching him or at the very least saying something that might cross a line. 

She sat at the table, waiting until he sat down across from her, and then she tucked in. Eagerly sinking into her thoughts she didn't even know where the line was drawn right now. He was now available, having revealed the truth of why he did what he did the night before, but it didn't draw a path for a future. Did she want to have all the answers for the future right now or was she content in the day to day? She had lived a year in marriage negotiations waiting for the future and that seemed oppressive in hindsight. The waiting had taken on a life of its own. It strained both of them, she thought. 

She remembered the tiny flame of joy that burned in her chest when she went to bed last night knowing he was next to her. Now, was it okay to have breakfast with him at her table? Was she lowering her expectations by not demanding what the future held now? Was she settling for less? 

"-kura. Sakura. Come back to me." Itachi had reached across the table, fingertips brushing over her knuckles that were holding her spoon a little too tightly. She hadn't bent it out of shape, but she could be on the way to doing so if she continued for much longer. She met his eyes, startled to find him still there, having sat at this table alone for so many months not really thinking that she would have this again- so she told him. 

"I didn't think I would ever have breakfast with you again." She let go of the spoon and in doing so, her hand left his fingertips. She nudged the packages of dango towards him, as he had made a dent in his rice and soup. "Mitarashi and Botchan. We need to get some weight back on you." 

A flush of pink covered his cheeks and the tips of his ears, he took a drink of his green tea, his eyes meeting hers and smiling over the rim of his teacup. Itachi had so few pleasures that he gave a voice to and dango was one of them. He sat the teacup down with a quiet clink, reaching for the Botchan first. "I feared I would not either. Not for lack of trying though. Will you share your other thoughts with me? You said you wished to speak in the morning."

"I'm not sure where we go from here, Itachi. We looked at marriage and it didn't work out. We fell apart." She leaned back in her chair, drinking her coffee, her face taking on a somber cast as she thought of his health. "Your chakra needs to be replenished and I want to look at your coils and start repairing them. It's nothing that rest and time won't be able to fix, thankfully." 

"We did not fall apart." His face turned bitter, but she knew it was self-recrimination and frustration with his clan more than anything. Softer now, "Have your feelings changed, Sakura?" He kept his voice neutral and she appreciated the fact he had done nothing but allow her space since they started speaking last night, but did lean forward to convey his interest in her answer. 

"No."

"Can we not take each moment as it comes?" 

"It feels like we're supposed to have something figured out. Something planned."

"I am content with whatever you see fit to share with me for however long you share yourself with me, Sakura." His voice was hushed now, as if he was confessing a dark secret to her, his eyes meeting her own to convey his sincerity. "So no, I do not take the future for granted anymore. I had no plan in mind, or for the future, other than answering your questions last night."

He set aside the last skewer and reached for the packet of mitarashi dango, he took one skewer and offered the other to her. She didn't have a particular taste for these like he did, but she knew this was his way of showing how prized she was to him. Shisui had kunai cuts from trying to steal Itachi's dango in the past and she had been the one to witness the attempted theft and squabbling afterwards. 

She gave him a soft smile and a thank you before starting in on her dango, savoring the sweet taste. She had her own sweet tooth that she hadn't indulged in ages, and despite this not being her favorite it did taste lovely, if a bit messy due to the syrup. She wished the vendor had three skewers ready when she was there. She licked her lips trying catch what smeared there and then her fingers to clean off the sticky syrup. She might've tried to steal it from Itachi if there was a third skewer available. 

She was ready to get up to wash her hands when she realized that Itachi was very quiet. He wasn't drinking his tea or fiddling with the dango packaging for more syrup. She realized his charcoal eyes were oxblood, sharingan restrained, as he watched her so, so carefully. He took a steadying breath before averting his eyes entirely. "I meant no disrespect, Sakura. I apologize."

"O-oh! I know none was intended. I'll just clean up and be back to begin healing you." She pushed away from the table with the palms of her hands, keeping her slightly tacky fingertips from touching anything and rushed to the bathroom. She didn't blame him. Not one bit when her body was acting no better than a hormonal teenager when in close proximity to him just hours ago. He was just less able to hide from her due to his dojutsu. 

She shoved her hands under the faucet, furiously scrubbing and then rinsing the suds off. This was the most open she had ever seen him. She couldn't help the selfish part of her that hoped this open part of him wouldn't go away. Maybe it was the wave of relief that seeing each other that was doing this to both of them. 

When she emerged he was composed again, she could tell he had finger combed his hair back and refastened it. He cleared the dishes and was sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for her. She seated herself next to him, but careful to leave space given what had just occurred. She offered him a open hand, palm up as she had the night before. "Your hand, Itachi? I'd like to transfer more chakra in and begin looking at your coils. This will probably make you drowsy, if not put you to sleep. My chakra transfer from the night from before was just enough to fill a badly depleted store and start boosting yours into production, but I am hoping this will get your own well on its way to producing again."

Itachi placed his hand in hers as soon as she offered her palm to him, squeezing her hand once before relaxing his grip. His fingers still lacked the possessive curl they had once had. He nodded in understanding at her directions and leaned back onto her couch. The thread of her chakra- stronger than the night before- began to weave into his system. Now that he had some chakra to work with, she could push more into his body, but she still had to keep her thread on the thinner side. Her chakra, cool and steady, began on the most damaged coils, repairing them slowly. It was tedious work and was time intensive. Before long Itachi was sleeping again and she was stiff with sitting in the same position too long. She let her chakra taper off, so as to not disturb him, and then carefully set his hand on the couch. Without realizing it, she had spent the better part of the day healing him. It was now approaching early evening. 

She stood, stretching her kinked muscles, and wandered to the counter to grab a peach. 

This would be a process.

\---

Three weeks and Itachi was still in her apartment.

After the first week she returned to work. She preemptively took the week after speaking with him off. She didn't know what would result from their conversation that night and not knowing if she would be emotionally stable to work at the hospital or not was not a risk she was willing to take with herself or her patients.

She and Itachi found themselves in much the same routine the first week. Breakfast and odd dinner times. Conversation in between. Sometimes it was light. Other times it was heavy and hard, for both of them. They both discovered that the marriage was not as much the problem, as Itachi had never consummated it and it was never borne of love, but his Clan and the role they played that was the point of contention for Sakura. Sakura in a fit of frustration snapped one night that it was her reputation that suffered. She was the one that was maligned for not having a bloodline to boast of. Furthermore, as she was clanless she was not afforded the same unspoken protections that Itachi had for a rushed marriage. She was often the talk of the town and the hospital had not shielded her from the gossip as much she had led Ino to believe. That night she went to bed silent with her back to Itachi. She fell into a restless sleep to Itachi's whispered apologies on the other side of the bed. 

The morning after she didn't know if she could forgive him because it wasn't him. Not directly. He just happened to have the right last name to not suffer as she had. Could she truly fault him for that? He suffered in a different way. His body was a testament to that.

Itachi's flash point was any insinuation that his feelings had ever changed or that his affections did not run deep. His eyes would grow stormy and his hands would clench, but he never lashed out in anger. He explained in serious, measured tones that his devotion once given was unerring. He did not and would not change his mind on the subject. He had always kept to his side of the bed at night, but sometimes when she was half awake she thought he was watching her sleep or stroking over hair that had drifted to his side. Often when she woke before him she found him much as she had the first morning, fingers curled around her candy colored tresses, tucked under his nose or chin. 

The second and third weeks were much as the first, but her healing sessions with him were less intense. She was working on his chakra coils and repairing them in the evenings, but she returned to work at the hospital. Itachi no longer required direct chakra transfer, starting to replenish on his own now. Rest and adequate nutrition seemed to be doing the rest. He presented an oddly domestic picture when she came home with tea and a warm meal before she settled in for the evening. She noticed he never served in the cups they used to share, but a set of plain white ones. 

The third week proved most challenging in the evenings getting ready for bed. She made excuses to retire early and by the end of the week they started to sound flimsy to her own ears. She knew Itachi must be aware that something was off, but she hoped he didn't know exactly what. She had dreamt of him for almost a week straight and these were not the dreams of their early courtship that she had in the months while they were separated. Those she had been easily able to shake off. It was a time and a place long ago, she could rationalize that then. No, these were darker dreams, and they took place in the here and now. These dreams were her day time 'what if?' fantasies that she would not allow an inch of her headspace, so they came out at night when her guard was down. 

It was even harder with the object of her dreams sleeping inches away from her, sitting across from her at the table, next to her on the couch with only hands touching for healing. 

\---  
Her eyes opened with a snap, heart hammering in her chest, a thin sheen of sweat breaking over her body. Why could she not have stayed asleep two more minutes? Hell, even a minute longer would've been enough for her. She swallowed and tried to calm her breathing to turn her head to her sleeping companion to find he wasn't sleeping. 

He wasn't sleeping at all.

Itachi had his eyes fixed on her, his lips slightly parted, a flush spread high on his cheeks. His hair was unbound, spilling like ink over his shoulder and across the bed, mixing with her own petal colored locks. He was propped up on his elbow his whole body turned towards her, the fingers of the other hand- as was his habit- twined in the ends of her hair that had drifted to his side, he remained covered to the waist. He kept though, as always, to his half of the bed.

"Please." His voice was hoarse. His adam's apple bobbed with a hard swallow after his request.

She took a shaky breath before giving a short nod, afraid her courage would flee if she allowed rational thought to intervene. 

He released the hair he held in one hand before sitting up in bed, keeping his movements intentionally slow as he shifted towards the center, spreading his legs and patting the space between them.   
His gaze laid him bare to her, his arms open at either side of him, but he had dragged the covers with him to cover his lap. 

She settled between his legs, her back to his chest, but found herself jumpy. She didn't lean back, kept her arms curled around herself, now feeling vulnerable all of a sudden. She wanted him, her body was a testament to that just moments ago, but her courage was rapidly leaving her and she felt foolish. It was a stupid, stupid dream and there was no reason to upset the easy co-existence they were building just to let off some steam. She was about to lean forward and crawl away when his hands touched her upper arms.

"Please lean back. Trust me." His fingers curled around her muscled upper arms, bringing her back in contact with his chest, and she could feel how fast his heart was beating. He began to gently rub up and down her arms, soothing her. She felt him lean forward and his nose nuzzle into her hair, inhaling deeply, along with the contented sign that came from him. So intent on his hands she only realized he was pressing kisses along her hair when he nuzzled her hair to the side to expose her ear, murmuring quietly, "I only want to make you feel good. Allow me this." 

She felt a shock shoot straight into her belly with his words and a small moan escaped her lips at his voice, her head tilting back towards him. She could feel his surprise, but she couldn't turn her face to look at him. His voice was a very, very powerful aphrodisiac. He had never really used it in the bedroom with her, but she had never had the courage to ask. Her face burned and the flush crawled over her décolletage, her muscles jumping under his fingertips again both parts fear and embarrassment at what he would think at this inadvertent revelation.

"Oh sweetness, do not hide from me." His lips began kissing the shell of her ear between each nuzzle to her hair. His hands drifted down to her own, threading his fingers through hers to give a reassuring squeeze. His heart was still beating hard against her back and she could feel his flush against her ear. He dropped his lips to her neck, his tongue sneaking out to flick, causing her to arch her back almost lifting her figure from his chest entirely if his hands didn't come to rest on her ribs to restrain her. 

"Don't go." Lick. Lick. Bite. "I have to keep you close to please you, sweet girl." She knew somewhere, in her lust addled mind, she could break free with brute strength. However, with one hand splayed over her ribs to hold her in place and the other sneaking underneath her nightshirt to touch the soft skin of her belly, she had no complaints. 

His fingers stroked over her belly until she calmed before skirting the sides of her ribs, climbing to the outer curve of her breast. His other hand had lifted from from restraining her to mimic the motions of his other hand until she was panting mess in front of him. 

"How I have missed you. I have thought about you, just like this in my arms, and touched myself until I came imagining the things I would do to you." Itachi's voice had taken on a darker tone now, his hands coming from the outer curve to cup her breasts and squeeze. His unrepentant groan in her ear had her shuddering in his grasp more than the hands on her chest did. He took her hardened nipples between dexterous fingers and rolled them, tugging on them, losing some of the careful edge he had earlier. She found herself grateful. She would not break under his ministrations, even if he only remembered it in his lust. "You are so soft and you smell so good." He continued rolling and tugging, his teeth nipping at her shoulder, his nose dragging along her neck.

"I would like to come out in front of you. May I?" A plea, but he did not move from behind her until she nodded. She felt his smile pressed against the side of her neck as he gave a gentle squeeze to her breasts and smoothed his hands down her ribs when his hands retreated from her shirt. When he moved out from behind he decided to sit to the side of her.

His sharingan was active, tomoe spinning wildly, as he devoured her dishelved appearance. She was still fully clothed, but already his hands were upon her. Carefully lifting her shirt over her head to toss it to the side, his hands rested on the swell of her hips. He leaned forward, touching his lips to hers in soft butterfly kisses, murmuring, "May the rest go?" 

Sakura lifted her hips hooking both her panties and pants and pushing them down, kicking them off her legs and then off the bed. "Thank you. Thank you, precious." Her hands threaded through his hair before pressing his head lower, to her breast, a soft huff of a laugh left him, "I am eager to please you too, sweet girl." He flicked out the flat of his tongue against her hard, pert nipple before fixing his lips there. His lips were not demanding as his fingers had been when they were sitting back to chest, a suckle where the flat of his tongue was a firm press and flick. He leaned his figure over her, pushing her back into the mattress as his hands drifted from the swell of her hips to the fullness of her ass. 

His hands were more demanding, greedily squeezing as the second groan left his mouth that evening, muffled due to his mouth being occupied. He massaged and stroked, his lips letting go of her rosy nipple with a wet 'pop!' His own lips had grown swollen from the activity, his breath heavy against her chest, "Will you let me touch you? Please say yes."

Her hands were curled in Itachi's hair, inky locks tangled between her fingers. She didn't know if she had ever been this turned on. Itachi had never spoken to her like this in bed. Itachi never begged. He wasn't a selfish lover, but he wasn't expressive either. Usually he was more action oriented than anything. That was usually left to her. Now, it felt like their roles were reversed, but she wasn't complaining. This was uncharted territory for both of them, but she found she enjoyed the reversal.

"Please, Itachi." Her voice was thin, needy. Without hesitation, his hands left the curve of her ass. He propped himself up beside her, one hand caressing her thigh and parting her legs with the utmost gentleness. Long fingers ran along her outer slit and her hips bucked, craving more. "Do you want more, sweetness? I am happy to acquiesce." He pressed her fingers between her outer folds, parting the and dragging his fingers along the length of her. His breath was hot in her ear, "You're soaked, sweet girl. I have dreamt of you just like this." He slid one finger inside of her, setting a slow rhythm, pressing his thumb firmly to her swollen clit, but not rubbing yet.

"I think you like me talking to you just like this. You flex when I speak." True to his word, her walls tightened reflexively around the digit inside of her. She began to squirm against him. Her body feeling tight, over heated, frustrated. To his credit, as soon as he saw the signs of her plateau he added another finger and she bucked her hips up against his fingers in appreciation. "Do you hear how wet you are? You're a vision." He had pressed closer, and for the first time this evening she could feel his arousal, before the covers hid his shape and the pressure he would've exerted against her. 

"What about you, Itachi?" Her voice was harsh between pants, one of her hands leaving his hair to touch him more intimately before being swiftly pinned by his free hand. It caused his body to press her own firmly to the mattress, but not crush her. His hand between her legs changing tactics, the thumb on her clit choosing to rub slow, slick circles while his fingers pumped in and out of her slowly. She couldn't suppress the moan at the heat that shot through her and the pressure rapidly building. She knew she wouldn't last long like this. She was simply too sensitive, too wound up.

"Sweet girl, tonight is for you." His eyes were fixed on her, the words were ragged leaving his mouth. Her body arching and rocking underneath his in time with his fingers. He kept her pinned in place, his thumb slick with her juices, rubbing over her swollen clit quicker now as his fingers pumped long and deep. "You are fucking perfect. I want you to cum pinned underneath me just like this." That did it. She snapped her eyes shut, each muscle feeling like it was coiling, and then releasing as she cried out. Itachi crashed his mouth over hers, swallowing each sound, her body bucking underneath his. An unrestrained moan was let loose in her mouth as he rolled off her, his own chest heaving with hers, as if they had both just run a sprint. 

Her heart had to slow down. It had to slow. Slow. She couldn't even summon the energy to throw her arm over her head. Let alone pull covers over herself. She felt utterly drained, but whole in a way she hadn't in such a long time.

Itachi pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. Fingers that smelled faintly of her, she recognized, were pushing pink hairs plastered to her forehead away. His voice was soft and warm, "Thank you, Sakura."


	12. Chapter 12

She slowly came to the land of the living again the realize Itachi had wholly claimed her in his sleep. Nose buried in her hair, arms curled around her, and a leg worked between hers as he neatly tucked her form against his. A secret sort of smile worked its way over her lips even as a flush burned her cheeks remembering the events of a few hours prior. 

They had never interacted so openly in the bedroom before last night and in the morning light she found she had absolutely no desire to go back. Heat pooled in her belly thinking of the fact he spoke to her, let alone how he spoke to her. It must be a crime somewhere for him to use that voice in the bedroom. Uchiha Itachi never begged before, but a plea did so much for her. His asking for her permission at each major juncture was new. Before they had always worked on the assumption she that she wanted. He was always correct, but to be given that control was heady.

She knew she was a sucker for praise. She was a paper ninja before coming into her strength and even then there was still a people pleaser in her heart of hearts. His groans of appreciation and the moan at the end were seared into her memory. He was a quiet lover and she knew she did a good job, but again- her courage failed her before in asking for more. Maybe this second time around she could ask him for that openness that he had shown now that she knew he was capable of it.

She felt thoroughly heated now at the memories of last night. She needed distance.

Itachi stirred behind her, now sensing that she was awake, a gentle squeeze where his arms held her around her waist. "Morning S'kra." His voice was rough from sleep as he took a deep inhale, nuzzling her hair to the side to place a chaste kiss to her neck.

She squirmed at the kiss and she felt his sleep addled confusion at her response, his arms loosening to allow her more freedom of movement. She pulled the sheets more tightly around herself to keep her modesty, not that she had much after last night her mind mocked, and untangled her legs from his. She eased away from him slowly, looking at him over her shoulder. "I'll get dressed and get breakfast started."

His dark eyes took in the uneasy tension in her shoulders and the flush settled on her cheeks before he made decision to reach for her. Pulling back into bed with him, as all signs of sleep evaporated from his face, "Breakfast can wait. I would rather hear what has you leaving our bed so soon." His hands settled on her waist, as neutral territory as he could find given the circumstances. 

Her cheeks darkened, her eyes trying to avoid his own gaze which was searching hers. She knew he wouldn't let her free without an explanation. "I enjoyed last night. I think I enjoyed it too much because I want- I want us to be open all the time like that." She swallowed hard. Admitting this would be more difficult. "I like being praised. I especially enjoyed hearing your reactions." She turned her head away, feeling like her face was going to burst into flames any moment now. In fact, she thought that might be doing her a favor.

Cool fingertips touched her cheek, holding her place as Itachi ducked his head, his own eyes meeting hers. His own gaze a mixture of curious, heated, and longing. "All you ever need to do is ask. There is no shame between us. I do not want you to ever hide from me, Sakura." The cool fingertips at her cheek trailed from her cheek, to her jaw, then down her chin. "Why are you fleeing our bed?  
Do you regret last night?" His brows furrowed in concern, his fingers pausing in their exploration but refusing to leave entirely.

"No! I don't regret last night at all! I think it was good for us. We needed last night, Itachi." Sakura's voice started off a strong declaration, but ended as a soft confession. One of her hands cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, letting out a breath she didn't realize he had been holding at her answer. "I was not fleeing either. I was taking a moment to cool off."

"Oh?" His fear put to rest, he now he looked at her with light and a playful edge, a smile tugging on the edges of his lips. "Why would you want to do that?" The hand on her waist began to stroke slowly through the sheet. The finger on her neck had moved to her shoulder, his hand curled to squeeze trying to break the tension she was holding.

"Last night might've been a one off. We never talked about it before hand or how to handle things after- after things may pick up in the bedroom." She was acutely aware of the hand on her waist moving to her belly to rub slow, soothing circles, and it did nothing but turn up the heat. "You were just waking up and I was not about to bother you when you may have regretted last night."

That was a mistake to say.

"I have wanted you for weeks, sweet girl." The fingers on her shoulder dipped, tracing the outline of her breast, tracing over the hardened nipple through the sheet and giving her no relief when she arched towards him. "Even chakra depleted and exhausted, that night when you brought me here, I would have thought nothing of ravishing you if you had said the word." 

"I laid here, night after night, with you next to me. I burned to touch you, sweetness." The hand on her stomach moved to her hip to squeeze before rising to her other breast, intent on inflicting the same torture the other was administering through the sheet. Ghosts of touches. Her nipples were straining and they could both tell. "I wanted you to be sure if you asked. Weeks of waiting though, only able to touch your hair and smell your scent when all I wanted-"

He pulled the sheet down, away from her all together, baring her nude form. He leaned his lips close to her ear, fingers stroking over her hard nipples, squeezing, plucking them as he spoke. "All I wanted was to finger you, taste you, fuck you. I wanted to worship you, sweet girl. All I needed was for you to let me. Won't you let me now?" 

She shuddered against him, the combination of his voice in her ear and his fingers at her nipples a deadly one. She moaned and nodded enthusiastically to answer his question. Simultaneously, one hand dropped between her legs and his head left her ear. His hand cupped her entirely before his fingers parted her gently, two fingers seeming to find nothing but pleasure in feeling how aroused she was. His tongue replacing his fingers at her nipple, flicking against the hardened bud, as a small moan left his mouth. "You're so warm and wet. Do you have any idea what a pleasure it is to feel you this excited?" 

If she had been in her right mind, she might've wanted to hit him. As it stood, she was simply too turned on to care. Hot and turned on Sakura found she didn't care about a lot of the inhibitions that sensible Sakura cared a lot about. 

Two fingers slid in, and her legs spread wider in response, feet pressing into the mattress as she pushed against them. An unrestrained moan left her lips as dug her head back, her hands coming to Itachi's head and pushed him into her breast forcefully. She felt a grin against her skin as his lips enveloped her nipple, suckling softly to his assertive tongue. His teeth gently bit and tugged, causing her to cry out, before he soothed the ache with his mouth. When he felt her grip relax, fractionally, he took it as permission to move to her other sorely neglected breast to repeat the much the same treatment, this one he enjoyed nibbling, but each time she whimpered he rewarded her with the full warmth of his mouth and gentle treatment of his tongue massaging.

Meanwhile his fingers continued a slow, intense pump driving her up the wall. Unlike her breasts, he refused to give into the urgings of her hips to move faster. He refused to place a thumb on her clit as he had the night before and it was growing to be another point of contention. Penetration alone would never be enough, no matter how good it felt.

"Itachi, more- Please."

"Please look at me. Will you let me taste you?" His voice was dark, his sharingan over bright, lips full from the attentions he had paid to both of her heaving breasts. His hot breath fanning over his chest even as his fingers continued to push in and out of her. 

"Y-yes." 

He paused his fingers movements, choosing to keep them inside of her as he rubbed his cheek down the soft skin of her stomach, the bone of her pelvis, put himself between her legs and kissed her muscular inner thighs. He inhaled deeply and exhaled long ad slow. His appreciative groan was unrestrained. His free hand snaking between the bed and her to cup the fullness of her cheek, giving the same greedy squeeze he had the night before.

He pulled his fingers out of her and moved his hand from her ass, curling both arms around her hips knowing he would need to restrain her. He gave a long, slow lick from bottom to top, moaning into her as he did so, soaking up her flavor. She shuddered into the bed, her hands flying to the back of his head as she felt his tongue drag over her engorged clit. He nuzzled even closer to her, his tongue pressing firmly to her clit as he moved his tongue up and down, up and down. 

He varied his rhythm, switching to circles which she found she greatly enjoyed, and then he would lower his head just a fraction- tonguing her entrance. He loosened his arms just enough for her to gently rock her hips against his face, his nose bumping her clit, but she found it pleasurable if she tilted her hips just so. He returned to her sensitive nub, and this time wrapped his lips around, choosing to suckle as he did her nipple, massaging in a circle firmly with his tongue. Her moans which were soft now grew harsh between her pants. She felt his hands squeeze in encouragement as her hips pressed up against his face, hungry for more. She felt his mouth water against her, the resulting slurp he had to make to increase suction, that caused her to unravel underneath him.

Her upper body crumpled as her hips pressed upwards, towards his mouth and then down into the mattress. To Itachi's credit, he followed each motion of her climax, slowly decreasing the intensity of his mouth. She was a panting mess as he cleaned the remnants of her pleasure, intent on leaving nothing behind, her fingers trembling in his hair before he looked up at her.

"You are radiant." His smile was blinding from between her legs, tomoe still spinning, memorizing the image of her before him. Truly, she had no idea how she could be described as such looking as she looked, but she smiled back at him with flushed cheeks and shy eyes. She gently tugged on his hair, trying to coax him to come up to her. He slid alongside her with no complaint, his fingers already pushing hair from her face as he had the night before, feasting on her features. 

She could feel his arousal pressing against her hip and she wanted nothing more than to please him. He had been so open and vulnerable with her in these two sessions. She had been showered with praise and she felt so, so loved. Her lips found his and she kissed him, uncaring of the taste and scent of herself on his lips and face, her fingers threaded through his hair as she held him close. She could feel his surprise and hesitation at first, as they had never kissed like this before, he had always washed up afterwards. He met her ardor with a slow burn, his tongue leisurely exploring her mouth as his hands gathered her close into his arms again. A hum of his own contentment rumbling from his chest, she could feel the vibrations against her own. One hand left his hair to wander, but like last night it was captured in his. His fingers twining with her own as he held her hand, thumb rubbing over her knuckles as her reluctantly pulled his lips from hers. 

"I want to touch you, Itachi." Her words were soft, punctuated by soft chaste kisses to his lips.  
"Aa. Sakura, perhaps another time." His eyes were closed to her, his cheeks flushed as he turned his face away. He still held her close, but she felt him retreating from her and she wouldn't have it. Not after she had known they could become so close!

"Why? Why are you pushing me away?" The hand in his hair touched his cheek, turning his face back towards her. She didn't understand this.

"I do not deser-"

"If you finish that sentence, you will regret it. Nothing about this is about deserving." Her blood began to boil as she thought about their circumstances. Neither one of them deserved what they had gotten, but here they were. Divorced and single, but with a marred reputation, in her apartment and so desperately in love trying to find a way still.

"If anything, you deserve to be undressed. I am unfairly nude in this bed." Her hands summarily stripped him of his shirt, and her mouth watered, she had not seen him without a shirt since before they separated. She looked at him with molten green eyes, fingers settled on the waistband of his sleep pants, daring him to contradict her. Gone was the shy Sakura and in her place was the more commanding Sakura. "I would have us equal, Itachi. May I remove this?" She did soften her voice at the end, allowing him an out if he was truly uncomfortable with the notion.

He was watching her with wide eyes, nodding as if mute, lifting his hips and then feet as she tossed his bottoms to the side carelessly. His member stood at attention and Itachi drew in a shuddering breath when he felt her eyes roving over his figure. She used her natural strength to press his figure back into the bed, forcing him to lay beneath her. She could feel his heart beating a staccato underneath her small palm, her eyes fixed on his own as she hovered. "You deserve to be loved, Itachi."

Her hands were not as smooth as his were and not been since she was under Tsunade's tutelage. She worked exclusively with her hands- healing with chakra, scrubbing in and out of surgery, crushing boulders, taijutsu, she had calluses and her skin was like fine sandpaper in some places. She shifted, one arm coming underneath him to hold him to her so he could not jump up and leave. The other hand drifting from his heart down his chest and to his stomach, rubbing slowly like he had the night before with her. "I want you to tell me if you don't want this."

"Oh, I do want this. I do not think I have earned this though." His breath was ragged, cheeks flushed as his hips gave a tiny, involuntary thrust. It was a testament to the truth of his words in the past 24 hours and how deep his longing ran that his control was so frayed. 

"It was never about that either." Her hand stroked over the fine hairs of his happy trail before running into his cock. She wrapped her fingers around and with a hiss from Itachi began a slow pump, keeping her grip firm, but not tight. She bowed her head and began to press kisses along his jaw, his lips pressed together tightly before she murmured against his skin, "I want to hear you."

She kept a grip on his shoulders like iron as he let out a pleasure soaked moan, not intentionally struggling against her grip, but more used to moving at his own pace. She had locked his arms in place with where her hand was and she had no intention of moving, afraid that he would stop her mid-way or insist on taking over himself and finish the task joylessly. 

Her lips dropped to his neck, biting and suckling as he writhed in her grasp, her hand picking up the pace. She began a slight twisting motion at her wrist when she was at his base that caused him to groan and lift his hips from the bed, panting harshly, in response to the new technique.

"Sakura! Sweetness please!" Itachi's head was pressed back against the pillows, his cheeks flushed, as pre-cum bubbled from the head of his cock. She tugged and swirled her thumb over the head, smearing it causing him to whip his head to face her, eyes open as his tomoe spun, "Fuck! Sweet girl, do you like holding me down? I do." His eyes closed again, head pushed harshly back into the mattress as his hips thrust up into her unrelenting hand chanting softly, "I do, I do, I do."

She felt his lithe figure begin to tighten against her and she picked up the pace, abandoning his neck in favor of covering his lips with her own. He completely ravaged her mouth, shoving his tongue in and dominating her between moans where he could only lay in bed and allow her to pump his throbbing cock to completion. He came moaning her name, arching as much as he could towards her before falling back into place, his breathing harsh.

She released him slowly, leaning over only to grab tissues and clean him up as he clearly was in no state to deal with the mess. His cheeks uncharacteristically ruddy and lips bitten red. She laid back down next to him and waited for him to speak. It seemed they both learned something very interesting about each other this morning.


End file.
